The Gemchurian Candidate
by Space Clod
Summary: It's election time in Beach City, and for the first time in Steven's life Mayor Dewey has an opponent! Who's the one to stand up to this political machine? Our lovely Lapis Lazuli of course! Is Lapis in over her head, or will Dewey be washed out to sea? Lets find out!
1. Intro

Spring time in Beach City! The soft ocean breeze blows softly across the boardwalk, carrying the scent of freshly cut fries and pizza throughout. Seagulls are chirping, young couples are cuddling, and Mayor Dewey is... Everywhere... Seriously... He's everywhere. All across town, decorating every telephone pole and wall, Mayor Dewey's face with the words "Re-Elect Dewey" in bright red is just everywhere.

Walking down the boardwalk, eating his fry bits without a care in the world, is Steven. With him, is his incredibly confused companion Lapis Lazuli.

"Uh... Steven?" Lapis asks with a hint of concern as she turns her head and body to get a good look at the scenery around her. "Why are there wanted posters of Dewey everywhere?"

"Those aren't wanted posters!" Steven says with a chuckle. "They're campaign posters. It's election season!"

"Election?" Lapis cocks an eyebrow in confusion.

"Yeah. Election. It's when townspeople who want to be mayor stand in front of everybody else and say why... Then they all vote for who has the best story!" Steven says as he finishes his fry bits and throws out the bag.

"I see." Says Lapis. "Dewey must have a tough opponent if he has to advertise no much."

"Uhm... No... Actually, I don't think Mayor Dewey ever had an opponent." Steven says as he thinks back to election years past.

"... What?" Lapis ask as a strong gust of wind blows one of the posters loose. It careens towards Lapis and smacks right into her face in such a way that it makes a perfect Mayor Dewey mask. Lapis lets out frantic muffled frustration as she tries to remove the poster from her face, Steven laughing the whole time.

As Lapis struggles with the poster, she steps on a discarded can of spray on sunscreen and slips. She hits the board walk with a thud, and the poster flies off and continues on its merry way. "Uhg..."

"Lapis!?" Steven helps Lapis up to a standing position. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Steven." Lapis says with a small smile. Steven smiles back, and after a few moments of silence Lapis speaks. "I bet Dewey has accomplished alot with his time."

"Well... Not really. He mostly just drives around all day and give out glow sticks... There was one time the power went out. It kind of just came back on." Steven explains.

"So he doesn't do anything worthwhile?" Lapis asks.

"Well, he makes people feel safe and secure." Steven adds on.

"That's worthwhile." Lapis says with a smile. "Still... I wonder how he'd react to having an opponent." Lapis begins to laugh. "Imagine what we could do with two people debating!"

"We'd each have a speech to fart for!" Steven says with a starry-eyed grin.

Both Lapis and Steven stop for a moment and imagine the possibilities before they both simultaneously break down into laughter. Suddenly Steven stops laughing. "WAIT!" Steven yells with a big grin. "You should run against Dewey!"

"That's a good one!" Lapis says as her laughing begins to wind down.

"I'm serious!" Steven says. "Think about the possibilities! You can help so many people. You and Peridot can move out of the Barn... You can get a pool of Jellooooo!" Steven is starry-eyed and drooling.

"Uh... Jello?" Lapis asks all confused, but before she can prod the question further, her train of thought gets derailed from laughter. Standing behind them is Mayor Dewey.

" _You?_ Run for _Mayor!?_ " Dewey says with a throaty chuckle. "That's a good one!"

"What's so funny about that?" Steven asks.

"Universe, this isn't my first rodeo. I've been grabbing the political bull by the horns for years!" Dewey explains. Lapis and Steven both look at each other confused. They both shrug and turn their attention back to Dewey. "There's no way a sheltered little newcomer could beat me."

Lapis looks mad. "Uh... Lapis?" Steven goes to grab Lapis's hand, but she brushes him off.

" **SHELTERED!?** " Lapis roars as she walks right up to Dewey, her wings gushing forth from her gem. She takes flight to meet him at eye level. "What do _You_ know about what _I'VE_ been through!"

Dewey begins to sweat, trying to keep his cool. But inevitably fails. His voice begins to crack from fear. "I- I'm just saying that... The... The job of mayor is very-"

Lapis cuts him off. "I'll show you how _'sheltered'_ I am! Go tell your underlings that there's going to be a new Gem in charge!" Lapis points off into the distance, and Dewey runs off back to his election vehicle and drives away.

People have gathered around the spectacle, and are now whispering hushed words to each other. Lapis just stands there, dumbstruck at what she had just done.

"Did I... I've been spending too much time with Peridot..." Lapis sighs.

"Lapis!" Steven says as he excitedly tugs on Lapis's arm. He looks up at her and smiles. "Do you know what this means!"

Lapis looks down at Steven and smiles. "We're going to swim in 'Jello'."

((Well friends, its been awhile but I'm back with something new. Had multiple ideas of different stories to run with. Decided to go with this one first because this story is more light hearted and fun than my other idea. And while angst is good... I feel that a proper balance of angst joy and waffle fries are key to a strong mental balance! I wonder what flavor of Jello Lapis would like... Lime Jello? I like Lime Jello. Its green.))


	2. Forming The Parties

The next day in Steven's living room...

"You can't be serious!?" Pearl yells out in frustration and confusion. "Mayor!?"

"I am serious." Lapis replies dryly. "I'm going to show that human what's what."

"Don't you need to... Uhm... Know what you're doing first?" Amethyst responds with a subtle smirk.

"I've got a campaign manager to help." Lapis says with a confident grin. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl all look accusingly at Steven.

"Don't look at me!" Steven says defensively. "I learned my lesson after Connie's student council election!"

"Poor Tiffany..." Amethyst mutters under her breath.

Pearl turns her attention back to Lapis. "If its not Steven then who-" Pearl gets cut off by a loud thunk on the screen door.

"Stupid door!" Peridot yells as she hops on one foot. "It opened this way yesterday!" Peridot groans with frustration as she pulls the front door open and walks with a slight limp into Steven's house. She's wearing a tie and carrying a suitcase. She clears her throat with a cough. "I will be Lazuli's campaign manager." Peridot says with confidence.

Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl all break into laughter.

"What's so funny!?" Peridot yells.

"You. Being a campaign manager!" Pearl says as she slowly stops laughing, wiping a tear from her eye. "Do you even know what an election is?"

"I've done my research!" Peridot says with a confident grin as she sets her suitcase on the table. It pops open revealing several books: _Politics for Dummies, Water Gate: Cheating Gone Wrong, Charisma: If You Don't Got It Fake It, and the novelization of The Godfather._

"Please! That's hardly appropriate reading material!" Pearl angrily vents.

"Sounds like somebody's jealous that I got picked over her!" Peridot says full of snark.

"Why you!" Pearl rolls up an imaginary sleeve on her arm like she's going to punch Peridot, but Garnet puts a hand on her shoulder. Pearl calms down.

"Well, if you'll excuse us." Peridot says confidently. "Lazuli and I have an election to win!"

Peridot turns around and casually walks out the front door. Lapis smiles and waves goodbye to Steven.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Pearl says as she and Amethyst look up at Garnet. Garnet shrugs and lets out a sound of confusion.

Later, on the boardwalk. Lapis is sitting on the Beach letting the tide wash in and out over her. Peridot is pacing back and forth.

"Peri. Can't you just relaxe for a bit?" Lapis says as she flops onto her back and stares up at the sky. "It's such a nice day!"

"No! As campaign manager, it is my duty to not relax until you've won!" Peridot says as she keeps pacing. "Now. First thing we have to work on is your image."

"My image?" Lapis asks quizically as she turns her head to face Peridot.

"Yes." Peridot stops and faces Lapis and begins to explain. "You see. Humans have it ingrained in their psychology through thousands of years of social protocols to look up to the more _'mature'_ members of their society. Humans die easily. Age means strength! Now, we don't physically age like humans do. So Dewey and his wrinkled face have us at a severe disadvantage."

"O... Kay... So, I have to be wrinkly?" Lapis asks, even more lost now than a few moments ago.

"No. You just have to give off the appearance of maturity. Changing your outfit should do." Peridot explains. "Something that predates Dewey... Something classy..."

Lapis looks like she has a light-bulb moment. All of a sudden she stands up. "Like this?" Lapis asks with a smile as her clothes glow. Her two piece dress changes into a fancy blue suit with a tailcoat and frilly sleeve cuffs."

Peridot stares starry eyed for a moment. "That's perfect! Its older and sophisticated!"

"Its not too much?" Lapis asks as she looks down at her feet. Wearing shoes felt weird.

"You look great!" Peridot reassuringly states. Lapis looks pleased.

"Now we have to work on your appearance." Peridot explains. "Now Dewey perspires quite often, and we are near the beach, so the citizens must have a fondness for water... That's crafty of him. But we can do better... See Dad has this _'calendar'_ that he sells at the car wash with images of-"

Peridot goes on and on about her plan for changing Lapis's image, but Lapis's mind drifts elsewhere. _"Why do I have to change my appearance?"_ Lapis thinks. _"I mean. Shouldn't I just be myself? Does Peridot think that the real me isn't good enough to win? Why should I care about what everyone else and Peridot thinks of me? Maybe there's something wrong with me? Well she did say that I looked great. That does make me feel better. I'm still nervous about this though. Do I really have what it takes to beat Dewey... Frack! She's stopped talking. She's looking at me! Am I supposed to answer something?... I'll just smile and nod."_ Lapis half-heartedly smiles and nods.

"Great!" Peridot said with a grin. "Wait right here, and I'll go get the photography equipment!" Peridot runs off.

Lapis turns her head sideways in confusion. "What?"

Meanwhile, at the Steven Universe residence. Pearl is busy tidying up. She had just finished putting all of Peridot's books she left behind in a Steven proof lock box when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door.

"Oh... Mayor Dewey!" Pearl says with forced politeness. "I'm sorry but Steven't not here right now... Bye." She goes to close the door, but Dewey puts his foot in the way.

"A-Actually... I came to see you..." Dewey stammers as he begins to blush. "Its about... the election..."

"Oh yes. That. Well... Good luck." Pearl says as she tries to close the door again, but Dewey's foot hasn't moved. Pearl is getting a bit agitated.

"I'm not an idiot! I know what you girls are!" Dewey yells half out of frustration, half out of desperation. "Beach City can't have someone who lives forever as Mayor! The system will collapse!"

Pearl didn't like being described as _'what'_... "And how is that different than a single family running it since it was founded?" Pearl says with a biting tone.

"I... It isn't... Not really..." Dewey says with a scared and defeated tone.

"Good. Now that you're caught up, good bye!" Pearl says with a forced cheerful tone as she tries to close the door again, but Dewey stops her. "What do you want!"

"Please help me win!" Dewey practically screams, taking Pearl off guard.

"Wuh... Why do you think I could help you wi-" Pearl gets cutt off by Dewey shoving a quarter into her face.

"You're on the quarter!" Dewey says loudly. "I know you know about politics!" He takes a deep breath and calms down. "Please... Help me..."

Pearl was about to reject Dewey's request, but an image popped into her mind. An mental image of Lapis taking the oath of mayor and Peridot gloating... Something about that image made Pearl change her mind. She couldn't let Peridot have another one-up on her.

"Alright. I'll help." Pearl says with a sigh. Dewey lets out a cheer. "Buuut." Pearl adds with a smile. "You have to do things my way."

Dewey blushes and nods in agreement.

((Alright! Chapter 2 is done, and the pieces have been put on the board! Now we play! But who will win? The newcomer of Lapis/Peridot or the Political Machine of Dewey/Pearl? Tune in next time to find out!

Also! Peridot did intentionally use Dad when talking about the calendar. I think the idea is amusing that since Steven first talked about Greg he called him dad that Peridot would either assume its Greg's name, or his official title and would thusly call him that too.

The outfit that Lapis changes into is the same as the art used for the cover of this fiction and is designed by Sillystell. You can find their tumblr here (sillystell. tumblr. com ). I also have a tumble (address in bio) but the works on there aren't as good. Yet again, thanks Sillystell for letting me use the art as the cover!

Well, until next time, I have a little cipher for you all. Why? Because I like ciphers. Here it is: Dp L wkh rqob rqh vdg derxw Slccd Kxw gursslqj zdiioh iulhv iurp wkh phqx? Zkdw? L'p qrw jrqqd gurs klqwv wklv hduob rq. ))


	3. Filing The Paperwork

"That should be enough photographic images." Peridot says with a smile as she packs the camera away. "When the locals see this _calendar_ they'll have no choice but to vote for you!"

"Uhm... Peri... What do any of these pictures have to do with anything?" Lapis asks as she sets down the super-soaker and hands the plate of pancakes off to the 'unconscious' Purple Puma.

"The first 12 were to physically represent your positive traits that make you an ideal candidate for mayor. They're going to make up the _calendar_." Peridot says matter of factly as she begins tearing down the lighting equipment.

"Well... What about the other 24?" Lapis asks, puzzled.

"Well I'm not going to waste resources." Peridot dryly states as she rolls up the extension cord. When she gets towards the end of the cord, Garnet hands her the plug. "Thank you, Garnet."

"No problem." Garnet bluntly states. She leaves.

"Wait... So pictures 13 through 36 were..." Lapis begins.

"Absolutely pointless to your campaign." Peridot completes.

Lapis covers her eyes with her hands and groans in embarrassment. "...Peridot..."

Purple Puma shifts back into Amethyst and begins laughing at Lapis's expense.

"What!? You're the one who said I could benefit from practicing spontaneity!" Peridot defensively states. She then changes the subject. "... Amethyst, you can have the pancakes now. We're done with them."

"Sweet!" Amethyst says as she tackles a giant stack of pancakes and begins to devour them.

Lapis looks like she's about to say something but thinks better of it. She and Peridot stand there is silence for a few moments. Lapis begins to say something but Peridot's voice cuts her off. "Now that we're done with the photography, you should probably go to the Magistrate's Office."

Lapis blinks in confusion and looks blankly at Peridot. "... Why?"

"If you want to run for mayor then you have to fill out the paperwork. If you don't then you can't legally run."

"That makes sense." Lapis says. She then begins walking towards the boardwalk. She stops and turns around. "Aren't you coming? You are my campaign manager afterall."

"While that's true, I have other matters to attend to." Peridot says. Lapis looks at her with an 'explain yourself' glare. "... I have to return all of the photography equipment to Dad, get the photographs developed, and then gather the necessary components for the next stage in preparing you for the upcoming campaign... Plus, I don't have to be there all the time. I trust you."

Later, at the magistrate office. Lapis is at a desk talking to an older woman with triangular glasses. She is a small, wrinkly lady with shaky palms and smells like mint and mothballs.

"Name?" The Lady asks.

"Lapis Lazuli." Lapis says with a smile.

The old lady doesn't return the smile. Instead, she changes her focus to her computer monitor and slowly types in the information. She then coughs a strange yellowish liquid into a tissue. Lapis cringes.

"Age?" She asks.

"Uhm... Hmm... Lets see... Imprisoned for 5,000 years so... Over 9,000?" Lapis says with a giggle.

"I'll just put 8,000." The Lady says. "Sex?"

"What?" Lapis asks.

"Gender?" The Lady asks.

"What?" Lapis asks, really confused now.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" The Old Lady asks.

"Uhm... I'm a gem... Does that count?" Lapis asks.

"Let me see if it-" The Lady cuts herself off. "Oh... That is an option... Click. Next question. Political Affiliation?"

"... Uhm... Not Dewey?" Lapis says with uncertainty.

"Not Dewey." The Lady confirms. "That party hasn't had representation since prohibition... Ah... Youth..." The Lady goes into a daydream and Lapis just stands there.

"Am... I done?" Lapis eventually asks.

"Oh! Yes!" The Lady says as she snaps back into attention. "It will take awhile for the paperwork to be fully processed, but feel free to campaign in the meantime."

"Thank you." Lapis said with a smile The Lady doesn't return the smile but rather opens her mouth to pick something out from between her teeth. Lapis turns around disgusted and accidentally bumps into Pearl.

"Oof! Sorry..." Lapis says before she notices who it is. "Pearl!? What are you doing here?"

"I just finished submitting the paperwork for Mayor Dewey's re-election campaign." Pearl says as she points over to a computer terminal on the wall.

"Wait... I didn't have to deal with..." Lapis looks over her shoulder and sees the lady staring back. Lapis shudders. "... Wait... Dewey?"

"Yes. Well. I couldn't let you and Peridot have all the fun." Pearl said with a chuckle.

"Fun?... This isn't another competition between you and Peridot is it?" Lapis says with a sigh. While Lapis does like Pearl and Peridot's rivalry and intellectual headbutting, she can't help but feel a twinge of hurt at the thought of the campaign being used by them as another 'battleground.'

"No! No! No!" Pearl says quickly as a futile attempt to cover up her motives. "Mayor Dewey came to me for help, and in the spirit of fairness I agreed!"

Lapis bought the excuse and smiles. The two of them leave the magistrate office. Its past dinner time now. The two exchange idle chitchat as they walk down the boardwalk.

"So... How's the campaign going?" Pearl asks Lapis.

"We haven't really done any campaigning yet." Lapis says. "Peridot believes that we shouldn't start campaigning without a strategy and training, so we've spent the entire day planning and taking pictures."

"Pictures?" Pearl asks, her curiosity obviously getting the better of her.

"Yeah. Peridot has this idea of making a calendar to distribute to the voters as a way to show off my 'personability' and 'blah blah blah.'" Lapis sighs but weakly smiles. "I like that she's so willing to throw her efforts into helping me... But... I think she may be too excited."

"Well yeah." Pearl says with a laugh. "That's how she is. She gets a project and she's glued to it."

"Yeah... Its weird though..." Lapis admits. "Being the focus of her attention."

"Get used to it." Pearl says with a friendly smile. "You're running for mayor."

Meanwhile at the Dewey Mansion...

Mayor Dewey is sitting in a small personal theatre watching tapes of previous elections. City, State, federal. It doesn't matter. If he has it on film, he's watching it.

"Its always the same!" Dewey says to himself as he's scribbling notes down. "Be charismatic. Get the support of the people. Mention a pressing issue of the time. Don't elaborate, be elusive. Get sponsors..." Dewey lets out a frustrated groan and throws his notebook across the room. "I know all of this already! Its been done countless times! But why!"

Mayor Dewey's mind wanders back to the boardwalk yesterday when that Blue Girl called him out. He remembers it vividly. Her anger. The tone in her voice. Her eyes... Those eye. There was a fire in those eyes that he's never seen before. It made him question his standing. His security... His motives...

"I feel like I'm gonna hurl..." Dewey complains as he pulls his knees into his chest and hugs his legs.

Buck Dewey, who is looking in on his father through the open doorway smiles. He walks into the room and sits next to his father.

"Its scary. Isn't it?" Buck asks. Dewey just nods in a reply. The two sit in silence for awhile, watching a speech given by Ronald Reagan.

"Sometimes to make great art, you have to struggle." Buck says to his father. "The fear is real, but it'll open you up to yourself."

Dewey turns his attention to Buck. "I have no idea what you just said." Dewey says. He then hugs his son. "But thank you for your support!"

((Silly Buck! Using metaphors on Dewey! And you Peridot! What kind of pictures did you take!? I enjoyed this one. Originally I was going to have Lapis try and figure out how to submit the paperwork electronically. Then I realized that would consist of an entire chapter of Lapis yelling at a screen... She's got plenty of yelling to do later, so I went with a human instead... Also I just rewatched Monsters Inc. and that secretary slug lady amuses me.))


	4. Disrupting The Flow

"... And then Tiffany threw up all over the stage and didn't attend classes for several days." Pearl finishes her story.

"Wow... I understand why Steven didn't want involved." Lapis says in astonishment. "That sounds horrible."

"Yes. But it all could've been avoided. If Amethyst would've just waited where she was supposed to and..." Pearl continues her explanation but Lapis's mind begins to wander.

 _"Ugh... I just wanted to know why Steven didn't want to help. Now Pearl's going on this long winded explanation. Probably about why the plan failed and how her plan would've worked."_ Lapis's train of thought has left the station. _"It just goes on and on and on without stopping. She takes a conversation and makes it a lecture. This is why I prefer Amethyst's company. She says something. Then I say something. Its a conversation. This is a lecture. Is she still talking? Yes she's still talking. Though I can see why Pearl and Peridot get along. One brings up a fancy science term and the other instantly knows what the other is getting at. They mesh well, but that's probably also why they have that whole rivalry thing going on with the robots and the one-upping. But it is fun watching them compete. Its like nothing else matters but crushing the other. Amethyst's commentary also makes it better... Wait... Am I forgetting something?... PERIDOT!"_

Lapis remembers that she's supposed to meet up with Peridot for the next stage in their campaign planning.

"... And Hydrogen, while much more dangerous than Helium, would've been a much better choice for the-" Pearl continues on before Lapis cuts her off.

"I'm sorry!" Lapis blurts out apologetically. "I completely forgot that I have to meet up with Peridot for campaign things!"

"Oh. Alright." Pearl says with a sincere smile. "You should probably go then. You know how she gets when she's left waiting."

"Right." Lapis says as she summons her water wings. "It was a nice talk!"

Lapis waves goodbye and flies off. Pearl stands there for a moment before she begins walking back to the temple. "Hmm..." She says as she rubs her chin. "... Calendar pictures..."

When Lapis lands on the beach as the sun begins to set, Peridot is waiting for her, with something hidden under a sheet.

"Sure took your time, Lazuli!" Peridot says with a not so subtle hint of frustration.

"Sorry." Lapis says as she rubs the back of her head. "The office was... Confusing... Human legal procedures are... _inefficient?_ " Lapis is not about to tell Peridot that she wasted several hours talking with Dewey's new campaign manager. _"Hm... I wonder if Peridot even knows that Pearl is involved?"_ Lapis thinks.

"Hm. Fair enough." Peridot says with a dismissive sigh. "I'm sure that's something we can fix once you become mayor."

Peridot walks back towards the object hidden under the sheet, and Lapis's attention switches entirely to the mysterious thing in front of her.

"Peri?" Lapis asks. "What's under the blanket?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Peridot said with a wide grin as she pulls the blanket away. "Ta-da!" Standing there was Onion.

"What is that!?" Lapis asks in surprise as she points at Onion.

"Its a human youngling!" Peridot says full of self-satisfaction.

"You stole a child!?" Lapis screams. "ARE YOU CRACKED!?"

"I didn't steal it!" Peridot yells back. "I found it!"

"Where!? A hospital!? The back of a car!? DID YOU BREAK INTO A HOUSE TOO!?" Lapis is just utterly flabbergasted at Peridot's decision. Sure Peridot has been known to miss small details like 'making sure the drill is off before rewiring it'... But a picking up a random child?

"HEY!" Peridot yells. "I did no such thing! I can promise you that the child was found on the boardwalk and was not acquired by any illegal means!"

Lapis facepalms and groans. "Peridot... You just can't take what you want if its just lying around... What are you even going to do with a child?"

"Its the next part of your campaign training!" Peridot says with confidence as she holds Onion up to Lapis's face. "Candidates show that they are compassionate and relatable beings by showing affection and compassion towards the defenseless offspring!"

"And how am I supposed to do that?" Lapis asks.

"Kiss it." Peridot says bluntly with a wide grin.

Lapis recoils back in astonishment. "WHAT!?" She yells.

"You heard me, Lazuli!" Peridot says. "You have to kiss every pebble that gets shoved in your face."

Lapis looks at Onion. Onion looks back at Lapis and winks. Lapis shudders. She looks away and then back at Onion. Onion opens his mouth and sprays breath freshener into his it. He then smiles and give Lapis a creepy come hither look.

"NO!" Lapis says as she defiantly stomps her foot down on the beach, the tide rises.

"What!?" Peridot yells. She sets Onion down and gets in Lapis's face. "You have to do it!"

"No I don't!" Lapis retorts.

"Yes you do! Its part of the process! And its not that hard!" Peridot yells in frustration. "Even Paulette can do it!"

"I don't care! I'm not going to kiss a random strange... Thing!" Lapis screams. Onion glares.

"Why not!?" Peridot screams. "Its just a human ritual of smashing faces together!"

"THERE'S MORE TO A KISS THAN THAT!" Lapis yells.

"NO THERE ISN'T!" Peridot screams.

The argument continues getting louder and faster to the point where both Lapis and Peridot are screaming loudly and inaudibly at each other simultaneously, both of them flailing their arms around and stomping their feet. Over the course of the argument, a wave grows larger and larger in the ocean behind Peridot. Lapis, Peridot, and Onion do not notice.

All of a sudden, Peridot grabs Lapis by the neck of her new shirt and pulls her down into a full on lip lock. Everything goes silent, and Lapis begins to blush. The wave crashes behind them and water dramatically goes everywhere, catching the light from the setting sun and causing seagulls to spread their wings and fly away in shock. Lapis Lazuli gets engulfed in the moment, having no clear thought nor clear idea of how much time passes before Peridot breaks the kiss and Lapis stumbles back and falls onto her butt, her face as flushed as possible and eyes bugged out in disbelief.

"See! That wasn't so hard!" Peridot says with a smile, and the tone that she's just won an argument.

"C-Clod!" Lapis screams. She turns away from Peridot and hastily flies towards the temple.

Long seconds go by as Peridot stands there in shock, looking blankly at where Peridot once stood. Something about what just happened felt _off_ to her. She then looks down at Onion as if expecting an answer. Onion stares back up at her and gives her a silent thumbs up.

((Well that sure was unexpected... I mean Lapis calling Peridot a clod? That's her catchphrase Lapis! Yours is *fart noise*... But yeah. Kissing babies is one of the staple cliches of running for office. It would only make sense that they'd get to it eventually. And Onion felt perfect for the role... He's like this generation's Mr Popo... Unsettling, but still fun.))


	5. Clearing The Air

Later at the temple, Lapis is sitting on the couch holding a mug filled with a warm beverage provided by Steven. She still looks flustered. Steven is sitting next to her and Garnet is standing facing the couch. Amethyst is sitting on the floor by Steven's bed, looking down at the conversation going on.

"... And then she just kisses me! Right out of nowhere!" Lapis blurts out still frustrated. "I mean... Who does that!? It's like... Does she even know what she's..." Lapis stops her rant dead in its tracks and stares at Garnet. "Garnet?"

Garnet is standing there, hands up in front of her mouth with the palms touching. She's grinning ear to ear.

"Uhm... Garnet?" Lapis is confused. She turns to Steven. "Steven, I think Garnet is..." Lapis sighs with frustration. "Figures."

Steven is also grinning ear to ear, his eyes all bright and starry.

Lapis looks up at Amethyst.

"Hey. Don't look at me!" Amethyst says defiantly. "You put yourself in this ' _Peri-dicament._ '" Amethyst snickers as Lapis facepalms and lets out another frustrated groan.

"I don't have time for this." Lapis says angrily as she takes her cup of hot drink and splashes it in Garnet's face.

Steven's smile quickly gets replaced with a look of concern, and Garnet's smile fades back to her normal stoic expression.

"Welcome back to Earth." Lapis says dryly. "Now can we get back to the problem at hand."

"What's the problem?" Garnet asks with her standard stoic expression.

"PERIDOT!" Lapis yells with frustration as she almost rips some of her hair out. "You know! What we were JUST talking about!"

"Oh..." Garnet says dryly. Its pretty obvious that Garnet doesn't see this as a problem at all. She shrugs. "You'll work it out."

Lapis groans. "You call that an answer!? If I wanted a half-ass response, I would've asked Amethyst!"

"HEY!" Amethyst yells as she stands up.

Before the situation can get any further out of hand, the door opens. Peridot walks in casually. The room goes silent, all eyes on Peridot.

"Lazuli." Peridot says quietly. Lapis looks away. "... Lapis... I think I understand why you're so upset with me." Peridot has a sincere tone to her voice.

Lapis turns back to face Peridot. "Really?"

"Yes." Peridot explains. "It has been brought to my attention that I had acted rashly and should have thought harder about my action ahead of time."

"So you do understand?" Lapis said with a smile.

"Yes." Peridot continues. "... Apparently the humanoid known as Onion isn't an infant after all. It's an ' _adolescent._ ' I'm sorry. A mistake like that won't happen again."

Amethyst starts laughing. Steven facepalms. Lapis's smile vanishes and is replaced with bewilderment. Garnet walks over to the shelves and takes a book labeled _"A Rock and A Hard Place: A Life's Guide For the Dense"_ down from the top shelf. She hands the book to Peridot. "I already have the chapter bookmarked." She then walks back towards Steven.

"Did you see this with your Future Vision?" Steven whispers in Garnet's ear.

Garnet laughs. "I didn't need Future Vision to see this coming."

Peridot opens the book and begins to read. "Hmm..." She keeps reading. "Oh..." She keeps reading and suddenly her face flushes. "OH MY STARS!" Peridot yells out as she drops the book.

Amethyst starts laughing so hard that she falls down from Steven's bedroom and lands in the living room with a thud. "My ribs! I'm gonna die!" Amethyst forces out during her outburst of uncontrolled laughter.

Steven looks down at Amethysy and then back at Lapis and Peridot. "I think you two should talk outside..."

Lapis walks towards the door. Peridot is still standing there, like a statue. As she walks by Peridot, Lapis grabs her by the back of the shirt and just drags the stationary Peridot with her. The screen door shuts behind them.

"You watch so much Camp Pining Hearts... And you still didn't piece that together!?" Lapis yells out on the porch.

"There's only one episode!" Peridot yells back, still not realizing it yet that Steven had lied about that.

They stand there in silence. Peridot looks away and out towards the ocean. Lapis grabs Peridot by the face and turns Peridot's attention back towards her.

"Lets try this again." Lapis says with a deep exhale as she forces herself to calm down. "What was your mistake?"

"The kish." Peridot slurs out. Its hard to talk when you have two hands pushing your cheeks together.

"Good." Lapis says with a smile as she lets Peridot's face go. "Why was it a mistake?"

"It was... Inappropriate." Peridot states as she averts her gaze. Lapis clears her throat, and Peridot quickly snaps back into focusing on Lapis.

"Now what won't you ever do again?" Lapis asks.

"Act on impulse." Peridot responds.

"... No." Lapis says.

"No?" Peridot asks.

"Yes." Lapis replies.

"Yes?" Peridot asks confused.

"Right." Lapis responds with a smile.

"What?" Peridot asks. She is clearly lost.

"It's alright to act impulsively, Peridot." Lapis says with a smile. "But you should still be aware of others. Keep them in mind."

"Alright." Peridot says calmly with a smile. "I'm sorry."

There is silence.

"Don't think I'm gonna let you off the hook that easily, Peri!" Lapis says with a joking smile.

Peridot looks confused. Lapis turns away from Peridot and stands in silence. Peridot goes to reach a hand out towards Lapis but quickly brings it back, eyes full of uncertainty.

"I still have a regime to overthrow!" Lapis says with cartoonish enthusiasm. She then quickly turns around with a wide toothy grin and points dramatically at Peridot. "And you're gonna help me pull it off!"

Peridot gets caught up in the moment and smiles as well. She snaps to attention and crosses her arms as she would salute a diamond. "Yes Ma'am!"

In the window, Garnet and Steven are spying on their conversation. Garnet has a huge grin on her face. Steven looks concerned.

((So... Yeah... "They're Pinky and the Brain! Yes Pinky and the Brain! One's name is Lapis, and I'm sure they're both insane!" I'm not gonna parody the rest of the song here... I may eventually. But not now. Things are getting pretty intense in the "Not Dewey" Party... Dang I wish I was better at drawing... I'd totally make a comic stip of the last scene in Gurren Lagann art style... Oh well. I had fun with this chapter. Had a lack of Dewey in it, but don't worry. He's probably coming up with his own clever scheming and catchy slogan... That Pearl is probably going to replace later anyways...

Everytime in the show "Future Vision" is mentioned, my mind mentally places a trademark logo directly after it. Not sure why.))


	6. Formulating The Plan

The next day, bright and early at Mayor Dewey Headquarters...

"And here we have a color coded map of Beach City." Pearl says as she points at a map on the wall. "The colors correlate to how many registered voters reside in that location. Yellow means a more sparse population, while Red means a more dense population... The plan is to display signs and posters based on residential correlation. More posters in the red spots and less in the yellow. That way your campaign gets noticed, but you don't appear to be pushy."

"But... I already posted signs all over the boardwalk..." Dewey says.

"I know." Pearl responds. "I removed them."

"But isn't that where I'm going to be spending most of my time campaigning?" Dewey asks full of confusion.

"Yes." Pearl says as she goes into yet another long winded explanation. "That is precisely why we don't need the posters there. We leave the posters in the high residential zones so the voters can see them on their way to and from work and while they run errands. They need to see the signs but not get assaulted by them. Placing signs on the boardwalk is counterproductive for several reasons. First is that its a low residential area. Very few humans actually live on the boardwalk. Second, most of the registered voters work on or near the boardwalk. They've already seen the signs on their way to work. If they have to see them all day while at work then they'll get irritated with them. Lastly, you're going to be campaigning there, so they don't need to see your signs. They'll see you."

"I see." Mayor Dewey says full of admiration for Pearl. "And what is that other map for?"

"This..." Pearl says with a sly smile. "This is where I estimate that Lapis Lazuli will be spending most of her time campaigning."

"And how do you know this is right?" Dewey asks as he gets up and inspects the map closer.

"Her campaign manager is very... Stubborn." Pearl says with a groan. "She'll insist on campaigning in places that she feels would provide the best strategic advantage... However, Peridot is inexperienced with how humans operate. Therefore, we can run under the assumption that they are going to go for a _'per capita'_ campaigning approach and target the more crowded areas."

"What are these areas?" Dewey asks as he inspects the map. "I know this one is Funland... But what are the others?"

"Bathrooms and changing areas." Pearl says.

Meanwhile at the Barn...

"And here is where the humans of voting age frequent." Peridot says as she points at a crayon colored map on the wall. It looks almost identical to the map Pearl had.

"I know that big dot is Funland..." Lapis says confused. "But what are the others?"

"These are changing facilities, bathrooms, and specialized eating establishments known as _bars_." Peridot explains. "Here at _bars_ humans consume beverages that impair rational judgement and make them more susceptible to persuasion... We campaign while they're in that state, and we're sure to win!" Peridot laughs in triumph.

"Peri... We are not brainwashing the humans." Lapis says with a hint of authority.

"Its not brainwashing!" Peridot says defensively. "Its providing beneficial information to the locals while they're in a more agreeable mental state in order to facilitate..." Peridot's eye widen as if she had just realized something. "... I guess it is brainwashing... Nice catch, Lazuli!"

Lapis smiles. She then walks up to the map and inspects it further. "Also..." Lapis says with a tone of apprehension. "I'd like to avoid campaigning in these areas too..."

"Why!?" Peridot asks angrily. "They're perfectly good spots! They have the highest flow of locals. They have the most predictable schedules. They have-"

"Mirrors." Lapis cuts Peridot off. She hugs herself and shivers slightly. "... Lots of mirrors..."

Peridot stands there, looking at her. She remembered Lapis mentioning that she was trapped in a mirror for so long. Peridot cursed her own stupidity in silence. She coughs to clear her throat. "Never mind those areas then." Peridot says. "Instead lets... Uhm... I have no idea..." Peridot sighs and sits down on a bail of hay.

Lapis looks at the map. _"Lets see..."_ Lapis thinks. _"I don't want to visit people's homes. That's too pushy. I'm not a creep. There's alway going to the beach, but then I'd get nothing done. Boardwalk? No. If we just stand on the boardwalk and yell about the government then we'd just be prettier versions of Ronaldo... Wait!"_

"I got it!" Lapis yells with a wide grin.

"Got what?" Peridot asks.

"The answer!" Lapis says excitedly. "We have no idea what we're doing!"

Peridot looks at Lapis confused. "... Aaaaand?"

"Don't you get it!?" Lapis continues. "That's the answer! We have no idea what we're doing, so lets just go to the local businesses and ask them what needs to be done!"

Peridot just looks up at Lapis. "Thats... Brilliant!" Peridot gets onto her feet with enthusiasm. "After talking with local proprietors, we could develop an economic strategy that would benefit their businesses. It would give us the foundations for a political agenda and make the locals think we care about the financial stability of the city! You're a genius!"

Lapis blushes at being called a genius. "... I just know when to ask for help."

"And modest too!" Peridot exclaims. "People like that!"

Later, at Dewey Headquarters... Dewey and Pearl are getting into the election mobile.

"Now, do you remember the plan?" Pearl asks as she fastens her seat-belt.

"Yes." Dewey says nervously. "Campaign on the boardwalk, discussing re-election and my plans for the city. Nothing too descriptive though."

"Right. The details will be filled in later after we see what is a hit with the audience." Pearl responds. "Then we sit tight and wait for the morning paper to see how the press responds."

Dewey groans and wipes sweat off his forehead before shifting the car into drive and heading out towards the boardwalk.

At the exact same time at the barn... Lapis and Peridot are walking towards town.

"Now, do you remember the plan?" Peridot asks Lapis.

"Yes." Lapis says with a smile. "Talk to the business owners, discussing ways to benefit their businesses. Drill them for information."

"Right. And from the details we gather, we can formulate a platform to move forward with." Peridot responds. "Then we sit tight and wait for the morning paper to see how the press responds."

Lapis clenches her hand into a fist and smiles. _"This could work."_

((With each passing chapter, the two sides get closer and closer to eventually butting heads! But that's to be expected I guess. There's lots of behind the scenes stuff going on before candidates begin their campaigning. Well there should be. Even though this is a political fiction, I fully plan on keeping my real life political views on the down low... Solely because there isn't anything I can say that hasn't been said already but more eloquently... But I digress...

Fear not, soon the two forces shall but heads! Lapis Lazuli, the Water Witch and Mayor Dewey... The... Uhm... Sweaty guy whose head looks like a butternut squash!... Wow... If politics was settled via fist fight, Lapis would've been made sovereign ruler of Beach City by now...))


	7. Blazing The Trail

"Here we are! Stop number one!" Peridot says with enthusiasm as she points a parked vehicle out to Lapis.

The vehicle looks almost identical to Mayor Dewey's election vehicle except on the roof of the vehicle is a giant fly head and "Your Fly Is Down" is written on the side. Standing infront of the vehicle is an older man with a bad combover, a thick mustache, and an eyepatch. He's wearing a brown suit and is standing awkwardly rigid.

"Are you sure?" Lapis asks full of hesitation. "I don't think I've ever seen this human before."

"I've seen him around." Peridot says reassuringly. "Amethyst says that he's an _exterminator_. They take care of insect and rodent infestations."

"That is correct, young lady." The Man says with a smile. He speaks with an accent unfamiliar to the two gems. In Lapis's mind it sort of resembles Sniffling Croissant from Crying Breakfast Friends.

"Uhm... Mr. Exterminator." Lapis says as she approaches him and extends a hand for a handshake. "My name is Lapis Lazuli. I'm running for mayor and would like to ask you a couple questions about being a business owner in Beach City."

He looks at her hand and doesn't accept it. Lapis slowly lowers her hand back to her side. "Ah, yes." The Man says. "It's that time of year again. I'm glad to see that sniveling coward has an opponent this time around! What would you like to know?"

"Well..." Lapis glances down at the palm of her hand and begins to read from the notes she had written. "As a member of the working class, what hardships do you face in the Beach City economic structure?"

"Ah. If it is hardships you wish to discuss, _eye_ would be happy to oblige." The Man says with a disturbing grin as he points to his eyepatch.

"Wait. You're missing an eye?" Peridot and Lapis both ask at the same time, Lapis with a tone of concern and Peridot with one of intrigue.

"Yes... Back in my youth when I had first started my extermination career. It was in The Outback." The Man reminises.

"Where on Earth is that?" Lapis asks.

"... The Steakhouse off exit 345." The Man says as he points West. "It was a terrifying encounter, one that gave me a healthy respect for the insect world and shaped me into the man you see before you."

Peridot and Lapis both exchange looks of concern.

"If you want, I can show you my... Collection." The Man says with a grin as he opens the back of his van.

Lapis and Peridot both exchange even more concerned glances and approach the van.

Meanwhile on the boardwalk, Mayor Dewey is standing infront of his election vehicle talking through a megaphone. Pearl is handing out glow-sticks and buttons. Her mind is elsewhere. She hands a glow-stick and a button to Greg.

"Heya Pearl!" Greg says with a smile.

"Oh. Hello Greg." Pearl says as she finally notices who was talking to her. "Here to show your support for the Dewey campaign?"

"Here to get lunch." Greg says as he points over to the hotdog stand. "I didn't know you were into politics."

"Yes. I'm fascinated." Pearl says, obviously lying. Greg notices.

"Well... Have fun." Greg says as he heads towards the hotdog stand.

"Yes. Thank you. Enjoy your lunch." Pearl responds.

"Oh! And Pearll!" Greg yells back. "Don't let your personal issues ruin Dewey's chances!"

Pearl cringes when she realizes that Greg has caught onto her lie.

"... And that is why healthcare, economic stability, and family values are important!" Dewey says as he finishes up his vague speech. "Any questions?"

"Yes!" Kofi Pizza says from within the small crowd that has gathered. "Have you read my letter asking for financial support when monsters and aliens break my shop!"

"That is a very valid concern..." Dewey says with a shaking tone as he pulls at his suit collar. "And I promise that something will come of that!"

Dewey smiles, and Pearl gives Kofi a glow-stick and a button. Kofi looks satisfied with the answer.

"Any other questions?" Dewey asks the crowd.

"What are your plans to fortify the town when the Rock People's invasion fleet finally reaches Earth!?" Ronaldo yells from the back of the crowd.

"Uhm... You see..." Dewey hesitates. As soon as an answer pops into his mind he just blurts it out. "An answer to a question that important is best left to be answered at the upcoming debate!"

With that question being answered, Dewey and Pearl both get back into the election vehicle and head further down the boardwalk to the next presentation spot.

At this point in time, Lapis and Peridot are leaving the parking lot that the exterminator is parked in and heading towards the boardwalk. Lapis cheerfully waves goodbye, and the man salutes back. Peridot looks physically ill and is actually even greener in the face than usual, her knees shaking.

"You know. At first I thought he was creepy, but he's actually pretty nice." Lapis says with a smile and a spring in her step. "And I've never seen so many bugs!"

"Steven is never going to a steakhouse, and all drinking water must be boiled!" Peridot says as she covers her mouth with her hand. If she had food in her system, she'd probably be throwing up by now.

Lapis looks down at Peridot and smiles widely. "Something _bugging_ you, Peri?"

Peridot looks up at Lapis with astonishment. "How are you smiling after seeing that!?" Peridot yells out. "Its... Its-" Peridot just shudders.

"Its wasn't that bad, Peri." Lapis says still smiling. "Plus, I think they liked you." Lapis points at the ground behind Peridot. "I mean, one of the big ones even followed you!"

Peridot lets out a scream and jumps into Lapis's arms and clings tightly to Lapis. Lapis laughs. "I was only joking. There's nothing there." After a brief silence. "You can get down now" Peridot does not respond. "... Peri?"

It takes awhile, but Peridot and Lapis eventually continue walking down the boardwalk. Peridot making sure to keep a few steps ahead of Lapis.

"Come on Peri. Don't _bee_ mad!" Lapis says with a giggle. "It was just a joke... You don't have to _fly_ off the handle like this!"

Peridot stops and groans. "How many of these jokes do you have!?"

"I'm running out." Lapis says with a smile. "After all, trying to work in bug puns is quite the _moth_ full."

Peridot groans again and facepalms. She's about to turn around and tell Lapis off when they both hear the standard "Mayor Dewey" chant from Dewey's election vehicle. They both turn and look. They see Dewey getting out of the van and pulling out his megaphone. Then stepping out of the other side of the van, holding a bag full of election supplies, is Pearl.

Peridot glares at Pearl. Pearl notices and just waves with a smile. Peridot grinds her teeth together and makes a frustrated noise. Lapis looks down at Peridot, concerned. "Peri?"

"Lapis." Peridot says trying to stay calm, but a hint of irritation leaks out of her voice. "Go on ahead. There's someone I have to talk to."

"Peridot, I don't think that-" Lapis starts.

"Please." Peridot cuts her off.

Lapis looks at Peridot and seriously nods. She then continues down the boardwalk before she suddenly stops and turns around.

"Peridot." Lapis says. She thinks better of what she was about to say. She turns around and continues on her campaign route.

Peridot takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. She then walks over towards Pearl...

((So many bug puns! But I felt I had to do it. Such an opportunity is _flea_ ting. I mean, how often is there a time _bee_ tween events that you can just stuff in puns? But yeah... The eyepatch guy from the crowd in "Political Power" has made a special guest appearance... And until the Crewniverse shows otherwise, I'm gonna assume that he's French. Why? Because I just rewatched Hellsing Ultimate over the weekend!

Originally I was going to have Peridot interested in the bugs and Lapis be grossed out. But then I realized something. Peridot is very naive. Besides ladybugs, butterflies, and other very common insects she probably hasn't seen much else. And Lapis. She's spent who knows how long in the darkest depths of the ocean as Malachite... She's probably seen some pretty biazarre and disturbing creatures in her day. So I switched the two roles and the scene flowed better (in my opinion) because of it.

On the topic of Dewey's side of the campaigning... He's doing... Well, atleast he didn't get side tracked. He's got that going for him, which is nice.))


	8. Confronting The Rival

"Pearl." Peridot says, blatantly trying to keep her composure. "Can I speak with you in private."

"Of course." Pearl says with a sly grin as if to egg on Peridot. "Over there should be good."

The two walk down to the pier in forced silence. Not even a second after they had reached the pier and were out of hearing range of the boardwalk, Peridot breaks the silence.

"What're you doing!?" Peridot yells with her hands up in the air.

"I'm helping a friend." Pearl says with a smile.

"You're aiding the enemy!" Peridot yells back.

"Enemy? That's a little harsh, isn't it Peridot?" Pearl comments, her voice dripping with smugness. "Its almost like. No. It couldn't be. Are you scared?"

"Scared!? Of what!?" Peridot asks in a mix of anger and confusion.

"Of losing." Pearl says tauntingly.

Peridot's arms fall to her side as she stares slack jawed at Pearl. Slowly she starts to giggle before breaking into full out laughter. "... Oh, I get it now!... That's what this is about." Peridot says in between bursts of laughter. "You're jealous!"

"Jealous!?" Pearl yells. "Of you!?"

"Well, yeah." Peridot says as she stops laughing and wipes tears from under her eyes. "You're jealous that Lazuli came to me for help! Its adorable!"

"Adorable!?" Pearl groans in anger. "I'll show you-"

"Though its understandable." Peridot says with a cocky shrug as she cuts Pearl off and continues the onsalught. "I mean. You've been on Earth **alot** longer than me and yet, Lazuli sees  me as the expert... It must sting." Peridot laughs.

Pearl groans in frustration. "Of all the conceited- Do you even know what you're doing!?" Pearl yells out.

"Well yeah." Peridot says as she begins counting off on her fingers. "I'm assisting a close friend. I'm toppling a neglectful regime. And currently, I've turned this battle of wits in my favor."

Peridot grins brightly. Pearl looks like she's about to rip her hair out in frustration before she closes her eyes and lets out a deep breath. She can't let Peridot get under her skin. She can't give her that kind of advantage this early on, so Pearl decides to go for a different approach.

"Peridot." Pearl says as she gets down on one knee and meets Peridot at eye level with a smile. "I'll admit it. I was a tiny bit... distraught. When you proclaimed to be Lapis's campaign manager." She puts a calm hand on Peridot's shoulder. "But trust me. Bragging rights isn't worth what could happen in the long run if we get too involved. You're better than this."

Peridot was shocked to hear Pearl bring up bragging rights, but she couldn't deny it. She knows all to well that if her help did get Lapis into office, she would tell all who would listen. And since she couldn't deny Pearl's comment, Peridot simply chooses to ignore it.

"Pearl." Peridot says in a deadpan tone. "Don't patronize me."

Pearl's smile fades as she stands up with a huff. She turns away from Peridot and crosses her arms. "It appears that I can't dissuade you." Pearl says.

"Ha! Not even close!" Peridot says with gusto.

"Very well then," Pearl says as she smiles and glances back at Peridot, "May the better gem win."

"Oh she will." Peridot says with a cocky smile.

Meanwhile, at the fry shop, Lapis is talking with Mr. Fryman.

"What does this have to do with my question?" Lapis says as she picks a fry out of the cup in front of her and inspects it.

"How can you claim to support local business if you've never eaten my fries?" Fryman says as he crosses his arms.

"Good point..." Lapis says as she slowly brings the fry up to her nose and smells it. It doesn't smell bad. In fact, it smells good. But she's never eaten anything before. She opens her mouth and with trembling hands puts the fry in her mouth. She closes her mouth and slowly begins chewing. It doesn't taste bad, but she still has to force herself to actually swallow the fry. She just stares down at the fries and looks pleadingly back at Mr. Fryman.

"You don't like my fries?" Fryman asks with concern.

"Its not that! The fry had a good taste." Lapis says apologetically. "Its just that..." She sighs. "We gems aren't like humans. We don't need to eat... And honestly... I think its... Uncomfortable..."

"Hey, hey." Fryman says apologetically as he takes the fries back. "It's alright. You don't have to eat the rest."

"Really?" Lapis asks relieved and smiling.

"Yeah. You tried and that's all that matters." Fryman replies. "Trust me. I know what its like being forced to do something you don't wanna do. I pay taxes." Fryman laughs at his own joke. Lapis, however, takes it seriously.

"What are these _taxes_?" Lapis asks.

As Mr. Fryman tries to explain taxes as clearly as possible to the confused Lapis, Mayor Dewey looks on from a distance. He had just finished his speech and had caught Lapis's blue figure out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't hear what the two of them were talking about, but it made him think. Dewey puts his megaphone away and gets into his election mobile.

"I wonder what they're talking about?" Dewey asks aloud and to himself. "I wonder if its anything important? Maybe she's just going through the rounds like I am? Or maybe she's just talking..."

Dewey lets out a sigh, and Pearl gets into the van.

"What's wrong?" Pearl asks when she sees Dewey's distressed expression.

"I was just thinking." Dewey says with a sigh. "You know... I've been mayor a long time, and I still don't know the fry vendor's name."

((Sorry its been awhile folks. Every so often life throws a curve ball. But back to the task at hand... I like fries, especially waffle fries... But I don't really see Lapis being a fan of food... Garnet eats sometimes. Amethyst... Eats everything. But I just don't see Lapis enjoying it. but yeah. Lapis tried a fry and is getting a crash course in economics. Peridot and Pearl have their own thing going on... And Dewey... Finally I got around showing a bit more Dewey... Woo?))


	9. Shooting The Breeze

Noontime the next day, Lapis is sitting on the beach in front of the temple. The sun is warm and relaxing. The tide washing in on her feet is soothing. Its a perfect day to just let everything soak in, and that's just what Lapis is doing. She's sitting there in silence letting everything from the past couple days just sink in.

 _"Finances, taxes, property damage, public opinion... How does Dewey deal with all that?"_ Lapis thinks as she stares out towards the ocean. _"I thought he was just an irritating clump. Just driving around all day doing nothing and every so often naming something after himself or talking nonsense. I never knew all of this was part of his job. Or that human life was so complicated. This money stuff really muddies the waters. Can I even do this?... Should I even do this?"_

Lapis lets out a sigh and falls back onto the warm sand of the beach. She closes her eyes and lets the warmth of the sun cover her. Minutes go by? Hours? Lapis wasn't sure how much time went by before she heard the sound of feet in the sand. Expecting Peridot or Steven, she smiled and opened her eyes. Her smile quickly faded when she saw it was neither. "Mayor Dewey?" Lapis says with confusion and a tilted head.

"Yes. I was in the neighborhood on important... political... Uhm... " Dewey sighs and lets his false confidence tone drop. He knew she knew why he was here. "Is Pearl home?"

"Sorry." Lapis says with a sigh as she sits upright. "She and Peridot are weapons training at the moment."

Dewey looks confused and sits down next to Lapis. "Weapons practice!?... Isn't that... Dangerous?"

"Well, duh!" Lapis says with a smile. "But Peridot needs to learn how to defend herself from the bad guys, right?"

Dewey looks nervous. "Bad guys? You mean... Those monsters?"

"Yep." Lapis says. "Don't worry though. Pearl's a good teacher. I'm sure Peri's just fine."

Meanwhile, at the ancient sky arena...

"AHHHHHHHH!" Peridot screams as she's running away from a hologram Pearl, its eyes glowing red with evil. She baseball slides past one of the pillars as the hologram Pearl just barely misses her head and stabs its sword into the pillar.

"Stand firm and fight!" Pearl yells angrily at Peridot.

"Are you cracked!" Peridot yells from on top the pillar, almost losing her footing and falling off.

Pearl lets out a sigh of irritation as the hologram Pearl leaps up towards Peridot. Peridot stares in terror as the hologram Pearl swings its sword horizontally for a neck slice.

Back on the beach...

"Yep. Perfectly fine." Lapis says with a smile.

The two of them sit there awkwardly in silence just staring off at the ocean for awhile.

"So... I... Uhm... Saw you talking with the fry vendor the other night and-" Dewey says awkwardly as he continues to stare out at the ocean.

"I don't know how you do it." Lapis cuts him off as she brings her knees into her chest and hugs her legs. Dewey is caught off guard. "There's just so much to being a human..."

"What?" Dewey asks confused.

"There's alot to worry about... Taxes, inflation, construction, education, healthcare... All of these human issues that I barely understand! Its just... I don't even know where to begin!" Lapis grabs at her head and pulls at her hair.

"Its... Uhm... Complicated..." Dewey says weakly. He obviously doesn't know what to say here.

"I mean... Yeah, I get that being a leader means solving issues like this for the benefit of the Homeworld." Lapis says on the verge of freaking out. "But this! Its a fracken mess!"

"Yeah... A mess..." Dewey says as he awkwardly gets up and takes a step away from Lapis. "But... A leader's job is to take the burdens head on." Dewey continues in a hushed tone under his breath. "Or... That's what they're supposed to do..."

Lapis slowly calms down. She looks up at Dewey and smiles. Dewey scooches another step away. "You know." Lapis says with a sigh of relief. "Just letting it all out really helped. I feel alot better now!" She gets up and brushes the sand off of her pants she holds her hand out for a handshake. "Thanks, mayor."

Dewey accepts the handshake and weakly shakes. "Yeah... You're welcome... I'm just... Can you... Tell Pearl that I was here?"

"Sure!" Lapis says, smiling.

Dewey leaves far more uncertain then when he arrived. He gets back into his vehicle and buckles up and turns on the car, but he doesn't go anywhere right away. "Bill..." Dewey talks to himself. "That girls got you beat."

Meanwhile, at the ancient sky arena...

Peridot is standing there, battered and bruised with a sword in her left hand laughing triumphantly at the defeated Hologram Pearl lying at her feet. Her wounds, most of which were self inflicted from running away and falling off the pillar, didn't seem to phase her.

"Aaaahahahahahaha!" Peridot laughs triumphantly. "Better luck next time you Clod!"

Peridot then turns her attention towards Pearl. Peridot just looks up at Pearl beaming with pride and self-satisfaction.

"Very good work, Peridot." Pearl says with a smile as she places a hand on Peridot's shoulder. She didn't have the heart to tell Peridot that she lowered the difficulty of the fight halfway through.

((I wanted to show that while they're all diving head first into the campaign they still didn't forget that they have other responsibilities. I hope that the swordplay really brought my _point_ across. Hehehe...

Anyways. Yeah. Poor Dewey. He's really got alot of stuff to think about... Atleast he helped put Lapis in a better mood! Sometimes you just need somebody to listen to whats bothering you. They don't need to answer. Just listen. Good thing too... Pretty sure if Dewey held a conversation with Lapis (i dont really see this as much of a conversation as much as Dewey talking more to himself than Lapis) it wouldn't end well last time that happened Lapis decided to run for mayor. Who knows what Dewey would accidentally convince her to do this time? Run for president?... Hmmm...))


	10. Splitting The Party (Part 1)

Later that day, in Steven's home. Steven is in front of his television watching a rerun of Crying Breakfast Friends. Peridot, still bruised up, is sitting on the couch typing away on Steven's cell phone. Lapis is sitting next to her, twiddling her thumbs and looking around.

"Are you sure we can be here?" Lapis asks as she looks around the living room. "I mean... Strategizing in the temple when Pearl is kind of on the other side?"

"Kind of?" Peridot responds with minor irritation and not looking up from the phone. "We are clearly at odds with her."

Lapis frowns and with a huff, she pokes a bruise on Peridot's arm.

"Ow!" Peridot screams as she drops Steven's phone. She glares at Lapis. Lapis just smiles mischievously.

"Its alright." Steven says as he looks down at the two gems. "The others are on a mission, and this is as much your home as it is ours."

"Then why are we still stationed at the barn?" Peridot mutters irritatedly under her breath. Lapis not so subtly elbows Peridot in the bruise. "Ow!"

Lapis looks up at Steven and smiles. Steven smiles back and jumps. Lapis catches him in her lap. "So, what's up Dot?" Steven asks.

"Well, Steven," Peridot says in that tone of voice that means a long winded explanation is coming, "the day of the debate is approaching quickly, and we don't have the capabilities to be everywhere and campaign all the time. We have missions and various other tasks to perform, so we're going to _advertise_."

"You mean like on television?" Steven asks, all starry-eyed.

"Yes. Like television." Peridot states. "However, unlike our competitor, we can't afford the outrageous amounts of _money_ that the television station requires for their services. Dad said that he didn't have any funds to spare, I am not asking Pearl, and going door to door didn't help at all..."

"They thought she was selling cookies!" Lapis says with a giggle. Steven laughs as well.

"... Anyway..." Peridot continues as she cleared her throat with a cough. "Since we cannot afford a scheduled time block, I figured that we'd let the local community do it for us. I am currently in contact with the _superintendent_ of Connie's school. They have an event this evening called a 'Junior Tech Expo' and I made a deal!" Peridot says full of boastful pride. "I proposed that Lazuli be a special guest at the event, and he agreed! All I have to do is _babysit_ his daughters during the event."

"That's... Good..." Steven says with uncertainty, his imagination running rampant with the dozens of ways that Peridot babysitting could and most likely would go wrong.

Lapis looks at Peridot in shock before grinning widely. "Peri... That's a great idea!" Lapis says with joy. "I knew you had one in that massive mess of hair!"

Lapis ruffles Peridot's hair as Peridot lets out an irritated groan at Lapis's backhanded compliment, but the praise still feels good.

Later that evening...

Lapis lands in front of the home of the superintendent. In her arms is Peridot, clutching desperately around Lapis's waist.

"I had no idea you were afraid of heights, Peri!" Lapis says with a laugh.

"I am not!" Peridot yells as she distances herself from Lapis. "You dropped me! Twice!"

"The first time was an accident." Lapis aplogizes.

"And the second?" Peridot asks with comtempt.

Lapis just smiles innocently, and Peridot groans. The door then opens as an older, balding man walks out.

"Ah. You're here!" The man says as he fixes his tie. "Alexis and Amanda are in the kitchen currently eating dinner. All you have to do is watch over them, make sure they don't get into any trouble, and that they go to bed at ten... No later."

"Uh, sure!" Peridot says confused. "Ten what?"

The man laughs. "Sense of humor! I like it!" He looks around for a car and sees none. "I see you two walked here. Allow me to offer you a ride." The man says with a smile as he offers Lapis a gentlemanly arm.

Lapis awkwardly accepts and gets led to the black hummer in the parking lot. She waves goodbye to Peridot as the car drives off. Peridot waves back with a forced smile.

"Well, lets get this over wi- GAH!" Peridot lets out a gasp of shock when she turns around and is greeted by two identical little girls, maybe a head's height smaller than Peridot. Both have long brown hair and green eyes. They stare up at her with unsettling gazes.

"Looks like we have a new friend, Amanda." Says one.

"It looks like it, Alexis." Says the other.

"Uhm... Helllllooo..." Peridot says timidly with an awkward wave.

The two girls look at each other and then back to Peridot with smiles that send chills down Peridot's spine. Each one grabs one of Peridot's hands and leads her into the house. Peridot gulps as she enters the house, the door closing slowly behind her. "H-how did that door c-close?"

Later, at the tech expo...

Lapis is glad that the expo is finally starting. The superintendent hadn't left her side since they arrived. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Now she is sitting on the the stage with a few other people she didn't know, and he is behind the podium talking to the crowd. Lapis lets her mind wander as the superintendent spoke.

"But before we officially start the festivities," the superintendent continues, "lets first welcome our guest of honor, candidate Lapis Lazuli!" The crowd gives Lapis a round of applause. She smiles and waves. "Isn't she just charming? Please. Come up to the podium and start this event off right!"

Lapis gets up and walks towards the podium. The superintendent moves only a little bit to the left. Lapis not so gently pushes him further away. "Uhm... Hello." Lapis says with a nervous swallow as the crowd is still having their own miniature conversations. "As your superintendent said, I'm Lapis Lazuli. I'm running for mayor of Beach City." She pauses a moment and then continues. "Technology is an important part of life, and it changes so quickly that... If you're _gone_ , for any bit of time, then you're lost... Its frightening. Its lonely." The crowd goes dead silent. "I... I don't know much about this kind of thing. I don't know what _Instabook_ is or how the internet can have walls... But I see you all here, celebrating your interests, your passions. Technology may change, but that type of bond stays strong. You are all here, together. So have some fun!"

The crowd gives Lapis a round of applause and cheers. Lapis smiles and bows her head politely. She steps away from the podium, and she and the other guests join in with the crowd.

((Is it obvious that I like horror movies? No? Ok.

Lapis is clearly _not in her element_ (worst pun yet! woo!) but seems to be doing very well. Peridot... Not so much... But atleast she got screen time this chapter, unlike another character we all know... *Dewey's crying in a corner* But Dewey and Pearl will be back in the near future and have plans of their own!

I was asked by my roommate why I have these little "Write Asides" at the end of each chapter... I don't know... I just like doing it... Maybe I should move this to my tumblr? That could work... I dunno... PM me if you have any opinions one way or another on this topic.))


	11. Splitting The Party (Part 2)

Now that the expo had started, Lapis had time to look at all of the various things on display. She feigned interest in most of the devices, and alot of them were out of her realm of understanding. She felt like a fish out of water among all of these tech savvy humans. She was contemplating excusing herself to just go outside and gaze at the stars, but her train of thought was suddenly interrupted as she heard a fart noise from the table to her left.

"Did I just hear a fart?" Lapis asks as she walks over to the display.

"You sure did!" Says the boy standing behind the table. He looked to be about Connie's age, very pale and freckled. His brown hair messy like he never bothered to comb it this morning. "It came from my pal here!" The boy holds up his hand and a mechanical arm on the table high-fives him.

"You made a farting arm?" Lapis asks with a mixture of confusion and admiration.

"Oh, Prankstobot does more than that!" The boy says with a devilish grin. He picks up a small plastic box with from the table. "This is the Bug-Box." The boy explains. "Its more or less a one-way radio. Any sound that you program into Prankstobot will be broadcasted through the device."

"Wait... So... This arm makes that radio broadcast fart noises." Lapis matches the boy's devious grin with her own. "So, I could hide that box in somebody's clothes, or big poofy hair, and make them fart anytime I want!"

"Oh it does more than that!" The boy says as he opens a cooler next to him and takes out a pie. He presses a button on the keypad and the arm resets itself. The boy puts the pie on the palm of the machine. "Each Bug-Box also has a sophisticated GPS chip inside it that Prankstobot can locate if its within range. As demonstration, I hid one of the Bug-Boxes on one of the special guests. Now watch and be amazed!"

The boy presses another couple buttons, and the pie gets flung across the room. It lands with a splat. The crowd parts revealing an angry old man with a red turtle neck, a long brown coat, and thick glasses. He has a pie on his head. He stands there, dumbstruck, as a near identical looking old man in a black suit starts laughing at him.

"Looks like you finally got your _just deserts_ , eh Sixer?" The one man says in between fits of laughter.

"Remember what mom used to say?..." The pied man says as he takes the pie off his head. "Save some for the rest of us!" He takes the remains of the pie and shoves it in the other man's face. The two stare angrily at each other before busting into friendly laughter.

Lapis looks on at the sight with starry-eyed wonder. Not even looking away from the scene, Lapis holds her hand out towards the robot, palm facing up. Prankstobot goes for a down-low five.

Meanwhile... Peridot is busy babysitting the twins Amanda and Alexis. The inside of the home is eerily pristine. The floors are spotless, everything is perfectly aligned, and the shelves are covered with an assortment of decedent knickknacks. In the corner is a clown statue about as tall as Peridot... Its gaze peers deep into Peridot's soul. The unnerving silence of the home is broken when one of the girls speaks.

"We are going to have so much fun." The one girl said. Peridot didn't know if this was Alexis or Amanda.

"Yes. So much fun." The other says.

"Uhm... What do you do... For fun?" Peridot asks hesitantly.

The girls look up at Peridot and smile with wide disturbing grins. Peridot immediately regretted asking that question.

"Before we begin!" Peridot hastily states, trying to prolong her existence as long as she can. "Let me... Get you some snacks! Yeah! I'll be right back!"

She runs off into the kitchen and begins rummaging through the cabinets. "Lets see... Snacks that take awhile to prepare... That aren't raw meats or havens for insects... Aha!" Peridot pulls out a bag of popcorn. "Popped earth treats!"

Peridot microwaves the bag of popcorn and fills a bowl with the hot contents. As she turns around to go back into the living room, she sees an identical clown statue standing in the corner of the kitchen. Peridot lets out a scream and tosses the popcorn into the air as she dives under the table. The bowl never hits the ground.

Alexis and Amanda crouch down and gaze at the cowering Peridot under the table. One of them, holding the bowl of popcorn and slowly eating from it, never breaking eye contact with the shivering Peridot.

"It appears this one is timid, Amanda." The girl not eating the popcorn states.

"It appears so, Alexis." Amanda pauses for a bit before speaking again. "But the popcorn is good."

Alexis reaches over and takes some popcorn from the bowl and eats it before reaching a hand out for Peridot. "It's alright." Alexis says to Peridot. "We have something we want to show you."

Peridot took Alexis's hand and slowly crawled out from under the table. The two girls led her up the staircase. Peridot wanted to scream or to run away, but for some reason she couldn't. They led her down the hallway to the room at the far end. The door opens with a slow creak and the three walk in. The door slams shut behind Peridot as she lets out an "eep" of fear. A television turns on in the darkness.

The rest of the night went smoothly for Lapis. She got to know the young boy who made Prankstobot. His name is Conner. Nice kid. Lapis visited other stands, met with other people. She answered questions for the local paper, and she posed for photos. It was the ride home that was most painful.

"Are you sure that was your first public appearance?" The superintendent said. He was laying on the impressed tone way to thick.

"Yes." Lapis said with a sigh of relief. "Its tough."

"I know what you mean." He says as he rests his right hand on Lapis's left. "Standing in front of hundreds of people. It can get nerve racking."

"Don't touch me." Lapis says sternly. The man quickly puts his right hand back on the steering wheel.

"Sorry." The superintendent says. "When I'm not at work, I'm at home with my daughters. I know its not much of an excuse... But I don't really get out much."

"That, I can relate to." Lapis says with a sigh.

"Well, that's one thing we have in common!" The superintendent says with a chuckle. Lapis ignores the comment.

The two of them spend the rest of the car ride in awkward silence. They get back to the superintendent's house, and he opens the door and turns on the living room light. Lapis jumps, startled, when she sees a clown statue standing near the couch staring right up at her, its gaze peering into her very soul.

"Wow..." Lapis says as she calms down. "I bet that thing scared Peri silly... Where is Peridot?"

Lapis looks around the ground floor. No Peridot. "Peri!" Lapis says a little louder.

Lapis walks up the staircase. She sees a light on inside the room at the end of the hallway. She creeps along the eerie hallway. Was it Lapis's imagination or were the eyes of the pictures following her? She forced those thoughts away and made it to the end of the hallway. She could hear muffled sounds followed by the giggling of the two girls. She opened the door slowly.

Lapis stood in the doorway gazing at Peridot, trying her hardest not to laugh. Peridot was sitting in a beanbag chair, her hair braided into pig tails.

"Oh! Hi Lapis!" Peridot says with a grin.

Lapis coughs trying to hide back laughter as the girls say something that Lapis doesn't catch. Peridot shoots a glare back at the girls, and they stop talking.

"So... that's a bold new look... Peri." Lapis can't hold it back anymore and erupts into laughter as Peridot realizes that her hair is still braided and quickly covers her head with a nearby sun bonnet... Lapis laughs harder.

((Well I was advised to keep these comments here but to do something beyond using parenthesis to signal the transition from story to comments. So I'm going to underline there from this point forward... Also yeah. Updates are a bit slower now than they were when I first started this. Real life and what not. Also going to still try and get some updates in in the next two weeks. May be hard considering Easter travels this upcoming weekend and then the week after that is Zenkaikon. That's gonna be fun! Need to start prepping for the Larp... AKA "Time to watch the same 3 hours of television repeatedly for hours to get ready to be in character!" That way I can dissect personality traits... Or as the Great and Lovable Peridot would say... "It's subtext."

As for this chapter. I had quite a bit of issues with it. Mostly because I had so much I felt I could do with the expo and the babysitting expedition, trying to narrow it down to one thing a piece was hard. I didn't want it to go beyond 2 parts because its not the main focus of the story... Why is it that taking out content seems to be harder than adding content? Oh well... Also, poor Peridot. Giving Lapis more ammo to tease her with.))


	12. Reading The Paper

Sunday Morning, Pearl is leaving the temple to meet up with Mayor Dewey for a last minute campaign session before the first debate. Steven is enjoying his morning cereal and waves goodbye to Pearl.

"I'm heading out, Steven." Pearl says as she opens the door.

"Bye Pearl!" Steven says with a mouthful of food.

"Steven. Don't talk with your mouth full!" Pearl states.

As Steven apologizes, Pearl notices that the morning paper has arrived. She picks it up and sees Lapis and some children on the front page. She smiles and sets the paper down on the windowsill.

"Steven. Can you make sure that Lapis and Peridot get this morning's paper. I think they're going to be pleasantly surprised." Pearl says with a smile.

"Ok!" Steven says with another mouthful of cereal.

Pearl groans in frustration and leaves.

Later, at the barn. Steven is sitting on the couch sprawled out with a look of exhaustion and frustration. Lapis is sitting next to him just smiling a sly smile, transfixed on Peridot who is currently holding the newspaper and is angrily stomping around in a circle.

"This is preposterous! A travesty!" Peridot says angrily as she smacks at the newspaper with her left hand.

Steven groans. "Peridot... Can you just give it a rest!"

"I will do no such thing!" Peridot angrily replies. "Its utter nonsense! A common feline does not have the capacity for speech!"

"Peridot... Its a comic." Steven says annoyed. "Just let it go!"

Before Peridot can respond Lapis chimes in with a grin, clearly egging Peridot on further. "Maybe the cat isn't talking?"

Peridot stops in her tracks and thinks for a moment. "You may be right, Lazuli." Peridot says more to herself than to Lapis. "Yes. This John is clearly suffering from delusions brought on by insanity caused from a lifetime of isolation! That's the only logical explanation! But to have no contextual evidence in the narrative? Not everyone has the mental capacity to infer such a scenario! It needs to at least be subtly implied! Clearly the writer of this comic needs to learn from the superior technique of Canadian Entertainment!"

Peridot continues to go on and on about the subtle narratives within Camp Pining Hearts and how Garfield can develop into a much better comic strip if it were to follow the narrative styles of CPH. Every so often Lapis chimes in and feeds the fuels of Peridot's frustrations.

Steven groans. "How does she come up with all this!?"

"Its subtext, Steven!" Lapis says with a sly grin and a tone of voice mocking Peridot.

Steven just stares at Lapis in shock and annoyance. She was intentionally goading Peridot on and was loving it. Lapis simply meets Steven's shock with a smile.

While this fiasco is going on at the barn, Pearl and Dewey are in Campaign HQ playing chess. Dewey is white and Pearl is black.

"How did this happen!?" Dewey partially says in shock. "She made the front page!"

"Yes, she did." Pearl says calmly as she moves her bishop to take a pawn. "Give credit where credit is due. It was an excellent campaign strategy. A much better move than your last commemoration."

"Hey! That was the best synthetic wood park bench a modest budget could buy!" Dewey states defensively. He moves a rook and takes Pearl's bishop.

"Clearly." Pearl says as she rolls her eyes. Her knight takes that rook. "I suggested that we play chess as a way to calm down. Stop thinking about Peridot's strategy and focus on your own."

Dewey takes a deep breath and tries to calm down. He moves his queen out onto the battlefield. "I just don't get how this is happening. I've been mayor for years! She has no political experience whatsoever, and the polls are split!"

"Lapis has an odd charisma about her." Pearl says as she moves her king up a square. "She steals the ocean, threatening economic stability, and yet the people still love her."

"And that's why I'm scared!" Dewey says. "Charisma is very dangerous in politics!" He moves his queen. "Check."

"Just stick to your platform, and you'll do fine." Pearl says reassuringly. She takes the queen with her other bishop. "Check."

"The debate is tomorrow!" Dewey says as he moves his king out of check. He notices Pearl smile. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Well first. I just won the game." Pearl says as she moves her queen. "Checkmate... Second, Peridot's never read the Sunday paper before."

((Ever since I first watched Code Geass, I can't help but think of chess as the official game of the mastermind. But yeah. The parties are about to go head to head! How will that turn out, I wonder?

Sorry for the longish time between chapters. Life got really busy really fast. Easter was nice but busy. Then we had an incident at work. That lasted until I left for Zenkaikon. There, the Larp took most of my time. I had a blast at the Larp. Was nominated for best Larper, so I believe that I did the little green space dorito justice. Didn't win, but that's not important. Ran into a phenomenal Pearl and Amethyst duo. They gave me alot of ideas. Also, together with a Mr Freeze we did much shenanigans. Now I have to deal with the work I missed... Oh joy.))


	13. Talking The Talk (Part 1)

The day of the debate has finally arrived! A stage with two podiums has been set up on the beach. Facing it are rows of chairs broken into two separate seating areas by an isle. At the end of the isle, near the stage, is a microphone.

"Due to the small population of Beach City, the debate is going to be in a town hall meeting format." Pearl explains as Dewey straightens his tie nervously. Lapis isn't looking any less nervous. "This is where the audience asks questions to any number of candidates and those asked must respond. This format is considered by some to be the fairest of debate formats because of the spontaneous nature of the questions."

"Spontaneity?" Peridot states. "Hear that Lazuli! The fact that we didn't prepare a thing is irrelevant now!"

Peridot grins. Lapis halfheartedly grins back. Pearl nods her head towards Peridot and Lapis and gives Dewey an _I told you so_ glance. Dewey breathes a sigh of relief and looks a lot better. Dewey makes his way to his podium as Pearl and Peridot head towards backstage.

As Peridot begins to leave, Lapis grabs a hold of her shoulder. Peridot lets out a small gasp of surprise and turns around to look up at Lapis and sees the nervous expression on her face.

"Lapis, relax." Peridot says with a grin. "Just remember to state your position and arguments clearly and logically. Also find any weakness in your opponent's position and destroy it."

"But there's so much to remember, and there's no game plan, and I don't know what Dewey plans, and I can't rip-" Lapis quickly raves and rants before getting instantly cut off by a loud, disgusting fart. Lapis stares at Peridot dumbfounded.

"I know the sounds of the organic butt amuses you." Peridot explains as she reveals her tape recorder from behind her back. "So I recorded one."

"Peri... Where did you get that!?" Lapis forces out in between fits of laughter.

Peridot gets momentarily lost in thought then just shudders. She walks backstage as the now calm Lapis takes her place at the podium.

"Preparing a contingency to ease Lapis' nerves... Clever." Pearl says with a smile, not looking away from the debate.

* * *

"Yes. Though its not as clever as your sabotage with the newspaper." Peridot retorts.

Pearl looks down at Peridot. "How did you-"

"Amethyst." Peridot explains cutting her off.

"Figures." Pearl states.

She and Peridot then switch their focus onto the debate.

* * *

Everything is under way, and the townspeople are lined up to ask their questions.

Up first is Nanefua Pizza. "We have all seen the publicity stunts, but now is the time to know. What do you both stand for?"

"That is a difficult question." Dewey states as he fixes his tie. "There are many complicated facets of being mayor with many different obligations and stances to consider... But I do stand with Beach City."

The crowd murmurs quietly in approval.

"We need to restructure how insurance claims are handled as well as overhaul the city budget. In short, less commemorated park benches and more public aid." Lapis says. This straight forward answer catches the audience off guard. After a long moment of silence, the crowd cheers. Lapis looks at Dewey. "This isn't that difficult, buddy."

Lapis grins menacingly at Dewey. Dewey swallows hard and tugs at his collar.

Nanefua sits down and Kofi Pizza is next. "Every week something bad happens, and I have to fix my shop!"

"That's... Not question..." Lapis states with confusion. "But I think I get what you're saying... The city needs to talk with construction companies to work out a deal that's good for everyone's businesses."

Kofi Seems satisfied with that answer.

"I... You know... I actually agree whole heartedly with that." Dewey says with the first bit of sincerity in his voice since the campaigning started.

The audience is taken aback. Lapis and Pearl both smile. Peridot is Peridot and pays no real attention to Dewey's taking a stance.

Up next is Greg Universe. "Uhm. Yeah. This question goes to Lapis... Don't you think being mayor would... I dunno... Interfere with important gem stuff?"

The question catches Pearl and Peridot's attention. They look at each other with an expression of _we didn't think of that_. They then look back, awaiting an answer.

Lapis also has a similar expression but she composes herself rather quickly. "Maybe if I needed to sleep?" Lapis chuckles. "Fortunately gems don't need to do that, so I have a few more hours than my opponent here."

The crowd doesn't know how to take that answer. Greg sits back down.

Up next is Ronaldo Fryman. "Hi. I'm Ronaldo Fryman, creator of the blog _Keep Beach City Weird_." Everyone groans. "How do we know that this isn't some kind of plot? That the Rock People want to infiltrate our government and slowly harvest our resources for their goals of galactic conquest!"

"Uhm... I think this question is for you..." Dewey says hesitantly to Lapis.

"Thanks..." Lapis says dryly. "Ok..." Lapis breathes deep and slowly exhales. "What makes you think tha-"

"You already took the ocean once!" Ronaldo yells, cutting Lapis off. Lapis looks irritated. "Am I the only one who remembers that!?" The audience talks among itself, but Ronaldo just yells louder into the microphone drowning them out. "And don't think I didn't notice your campaign manager! She's green! Just like the giant hand ship that almost killed us all!"

The audience starts getting louder. Some of them audibly jumping on board with Ronaldo's paranoia. Lapis is now actually mad.

"Look here, Fry-clump!" Lapis angrily states as she makes a fist and swings down on her podium. The loud bang in the microphone silences the crowd. "First! I gave the ocean back! Second!" Lapis stops. She notices that some of the people in the audience were now scared. A little girl looks to be on the verge of crying. Lapis forces herself to calm down. "Sorry... Its just that... I stole the ocean. Peridot did kind of invade Earth... And Dewey is a sniveling coward... But I like to make people laugh. And despite her cynical disposition, Peridot is a naive and lovable goof... And Dewey is a good person at heart... The point is... We are all so much more than what we've done in the past. Everybody makes mistakes. But if we learn from them and move on... Then so should you."

The crowd murmurs in approval. Dewey begins to clap which starts the audience into an applause. Peridot blushes and smiles. Pearl notices out of the corner of her eye and smiles. She puts a hand on Peridot's shoulder.

Ronaldo storms away from the microphone and down the beach. "I guess I'll have to save the world by myself!" Ronaldo angrily complains through gritted teeth.

Mr Smiley approaches the microphone and faces the audience. "We'll gonna take a 15 minute break! Take this time to use the bathroom or get a snack. Just don't approach the staging area!"

* * *

((Who has two thumbs and forgot about taxes? This Clod! And it figures. I got so wrapped up in the everything that I forgot to do them all the way til the last minute, and it was a weird year. With multiple moves, multiple jobs, and other random crap... Long story short... I dun goofed on scheduling. Sorry.

But yeah, the story. This debate is going to be longer than a chapter. also Ronaldo really needs to chill. I mean come on. In Horror Club he tried to sacrifice Lars to Wall Devil... That's what I call that gem. Wall Devil. Why? Because it was embedded in a wall and was pulling some pretty effective Evil Dead shenanigans.

Also horizontal lines! This was recommended to help divide when parts of the chapter are at different locations and whatnot. Figured I'd implement them because it was a good idea.))


	14. Talking The Talk (Part 2)

Lapis and Dewey both head towards back stage where Pearl and Peridot are waiting for them.

"You're destroying the competition, Lazuli!" Peridot yells in excitement.

Lapis blushes at the compliment. "Thanks, but its not like I'm doing anything special. I'm just talking."

"Talking is one of the most important parts of politics." Dewey says with reassurance. "Keeping calm and doing damage control is very important. It keeps the people feeling safe."

"That is a good point..." Lapis says as she rubs her chin. She then looks like she has an idea. "Know what? When I win, I'll appoint you to my pantry!"

Dewey looks confused. Peridot starts snickering.

"I think you mean cabinet." Pearl corrects Lapis.

"That too." Lapis agrees with a smile.

Dewey lets out a sigh and also smiles. "Well, I have no plans to give up just yet..." Dewey smiles. "But that doesn't sound like a bad alternative."

Pearl gives Dewey a glass of water, and the rest of the break is filled with casual conversation and political advice. Eventually Mr Smiley gives the 2 minute warning, and Lapis and Dewey return to their podiums.

"Excuse me!" Mr Smiley says to Pearl.

"Yes?" Pearl replies.

"Out speakers are acting up. Mind taking a look at it?" Mr Smiley asks.

"Alright." Pearl agrees. "Now Peridot, don't get into trouble when I'm gone." Pearl jokingly states.

Peridot groans at the remark, and Pearl leaves. When she returns, Peridot is nowhere to be seen.

"Now where did she run off to?" Pearl asks herself, looking around.

* * *

Meanwhile back on the stage... With the speaker system being plugged back in the debate has continued.

Up next is Mr Fryman. "Hey, Mayor Dewey." Fryman says. "Your opponent actually listened to my problems and offered to help. What makes you think you can top that?"

Dewey isn't shocked by the question at all. The rest of the audience is though, and the silence is only broken by seagulls and the tide. Dewey sighs.

"Honestly." Dewey pauses before continuing. "I'm not sure if I can." The crowd murmurs, but Dewey doesn't pay attention to them and continues. "You see. My opponent here is kind and idealistic. She wants to help you as much as I do, and with her different way of looking at things she may do a better job at it. I don't know..." The crowd is sitting in silence as Dewey breathes in deep and slowly exhales before continuing. "And she's already helped me... Through seeing her campaign, I've learned a lot about myself, what I have and have not done as mayor... I used to be ambitious but have lost my edge over the years. But in the face of this challenge, I feel a renewed purpose! I am going to fight for the Beach City that I love, and I'm going to do it with a change in policy! Its about time that we retool our local business assistance laws and reevaluate our construction contracts! With the recent rise in dangerous occurrences, it's time that we increase funding to our emergency responders! Not only do we need to be here for each other... I need to be here for you."

Dewey finishes his statement and breathes a sigh of relief. The silence is broken by Lapis giving Dewey a round of applause. The audience follows suit, and soon the mayor Dewey chants begin. Eventually Mr Smiley is able to quiet the audience, and the debate goes on...

"Alright everyone!" Mr Smiley says into the microphone. "We've all had one heck of a good debate this evening, but now Its time for closing statements! We'll start with ladies first! And please no fart noises!"

" _Water_ you getting at?" Lapis says with a satisfied grin.

The audience moans at the horrible pun... Except for one guy in the very back who just yells "Eyyyyyy!"

Lapis points towards the guys in the back and smiles replying with her own "Eyyyyyy!" She then clears her throat with a cough. "All joking aside. When I started this campaign, I originally thought that being mayor would be easy. I mean if Mayor Dewey could do it then it couldn't be that hard, right?... I was wrong. Listening to the grievances of the people, developing a platform to run on, and surviving the half-cracked schemes of my campaign manager... By the way, calendars are being given out on the boardwalk... But yeah. Its tough, and I didn't even win the election yet. But I'm going to see this through, and I promise... Even though it'll be hard... Just like the ocean, this gem isn't going anywhere."

The audience claps.

Among the audience Peedee Fryman says "But she took the ocean once... So... It did disappear."

"She's being dramatic!" Steven says with starry-eyed approval.

When the audience dies down, Dewey speaks up.

"Unlike my opponent, my jokes don't hold water." The audience doesn't even groan. Its just silence. Not even crickets are dignifying that with a chirp. Lapis cringes at the bad joke. "... My point is proven... Anyways. Beach City is at a major crossroads right now. Both Lapis Lazuli and myself have plans for major changes here in Beach City. So I implore you all. Please. Think long and hard about who you believe is the best person for the job and then vote to make it happen. Thank you."

With the debate being officially over, people begin to disperse. Dewey meets up with his son Buck, and the two of them head home. The crowd disperses. Several people stopping to pick up a calendar. Lapis notices that the calendar seems to be very popular among the older people of Beach City given the fact that the parents seem so eager to take them away from their children.

Lapis can't help but smile. Today had just gone so well, and she can't wait to see everyone else's reaction. When she got back stage, her smile got bigger. Everyone was there, standing in a circle. Steven, Greg, Connie, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and... Lapis couldn't see Peridot anywhere. Maybe she was hidden by Garnet or Greg?

Lapis joins the group. Her smile vanishes when she sees what everyone is looking at. In Pearl's hands is a cracked visor. "I went looking for her during the debate. This was all I found."

* * *

((Dun dun dunnnnn! *dramatic pause for emphasis* Yeah. I can hear it now. "Dammit SC! We waited so long for an update and now you put a cliff hangar at the end of this one! GAH! Looks like we're gonna have to wait another 10 days!" Yeah... Sorry about the long time between updates. Actually had this one written a few days ago. But real life's a clod. But fear not! the next chapter will be up by Friday! As in 3 days from now!

On the topic of real life sucking, my schedule will get even more unpredictable come May. My job has decided to keep me on fulltime and with that comes schedule changes I need to plan around.

That whole "Eyyyyy" thing is a bit of a shout out to the folks from the Larp I went to a few weeks back. We had a Sho and a Sans larper there. So there were lots of puns and everytime a pun was made, somebody said "eyyyyyy"

And now that the debate has concluded, the ballots are out. Vote now at this address: 

https

:/www

.surveymonkey.

com/

r/XD7P8GS

FFdotNet really doesn't like outside links... So I gave it to you in pieces.))


	15. Attending The Afterparty

"Where's Peridot!?" Lapis asks terrified.

Garnet shrugs. Amethyst looks down at the sand.

"We... Don't know..." Pearl says defeated.

"Don't know!" Lapis yells. She points at Pearl. "She was right with you!" She then points at Garnet. "You can see the future! How can you not know!"

"Hey! We're tryin' alright!" Amethyst yells back.

An argument breaks out between Amethyst and Lapis. Greg and Pearl try to calm them down but both fail. The yelling back and forth continues until Garnet has enough. She grabs them both by the backs of their heads and smacks their heads together. "Fighting isn't going to find Peridot."

At this point, Steven hears Mr Fryman. "Ronaldo! Ronaldo! Peedee, have you seen your brother?" Steven's mind flashes back to the Sneople incident a few years back.

"Pearl!" Steven says loudly, like he's got an idea. "Did you find anything else?"

"Well, pieces of uncooked potato." Pearl explains. "But I doubt that has any relevance."

Steven ignores everything Pearl says after 'potato' and pulls out his cell phone. It goes to voice mail.

"Well. Ronaldo isn't answering his phone." Steven says.

"You mean that fry kid?" amethyst asks.

"Yeah." Steven says. "This wouldn't be the first time he stole somebody."

"True." Pearl says. "He did kidnap you once, and he did seem distraught during the debate."

Lapis grabs Steven by the shoulders and shakes him. "Steven! Where would he go!"

"Woah-oah." Steven is being shaken a little too hard for his liking. "The lighthouse! Probably! He practically lives there!"

Water wings erupt from Lapis's gem, and she rockets into the air towards the lighthouse. She never let go of Steven.

"Oh dear..." Pearl says concerned.

Garnet smiles.

Amethyst notices and looks at Garnet quizzically. "What're you smiling about?"

Garnet doesn't respond.

* * *

With a startled jolt, Peridot came too. It was dark, but without even activating the light from her gem, she knew what was going on. The awkward jerking motions. The feel of scratchy fabric all around her. The entirety of her weight resting on her head...

 _"I'm upside down... In a bag..."_ Peridot thinks. _"... And I'm being abducted... Why doesn't this bother me?"_ Vivid images spring to life life in her mind. Images of her being crushed by an incubator drill, shocked, poofed, smacked in the face, falling face first, being hunted down by Homeworld drones, the Cluster, and various other terrifying experiences. _"Oh... Right... I'm used to it."_

* * *

[[Flashback]]

Peridot remembered being backstage. Pearl had just left to aid Mr Smiley in equipment repairs when Peridot heard someone making strange noises. She went to investigate.

"You're not supposed to be backstage." Peridot said as she turned the corner to be sneak attacked by an unknown assailant.

Peridot let out an "oof" and fell back into the sand. Standing over her was Ronaldo with an uncooked potato in his hand. Before Peridot could get up, Ronaldo had his knee on her gut. With all of his weight on her, she couldn't get up, let alone yell for help. Down came another swing of the potato. Then another. Then another.

Peridot remembered hearing a crack, then everything went black.

[[End Flashback]]

* * *

Peridot hastily reaches for her forehead and feels her gem. It's intact. She breathes out a sigh of relief. _"It must've been my visor..."_ Peridot thinks. _"Heh... And Steven says that I don't need gem protection now that I'm a Crystal Gem. But I should probably bask in my glory later. First I need to get out of this..."_

Peridot hears the sound of a door opening and then slamming shut. Follows is the telltale sound of a deadbolt being locked. Peridot's bag gets dropped, and she hits the floor headfirst. Even though that hurt, she grins menacingly and snickers. She has a plan.

As soon as Ronaldo begins to untie the string on the burlap sack, Peridot does a handstand and kicks upwards. The bag falls around her as her kick connects and hits Ronaldo right under the chin. His teeth clash together and he falls back onto his butt. Peridot then rolls out of the handstand and back onto her feet. She runs for the door... But can't open the deadbolt. Its locked. She turns around and meets Ronaldo's glare with her own.

"I bet you don't know where we-" Ronaldo begins to explain as he stands up. Peridot cuts him off.

"We're in the lighthouse." Peridot states, still glaring. Ronaldo looks shocked. "The room is round and the light is right up there!" Peridot points up at the light. "You've got to be dull as dirt to not put that together!"

Ronaldo completely gets caught off guard by that but composes himself while adjusting his glasses. "Ok. So you **do** know where we are. Clearly your mental perceptiveness is on par with my own." Ronaldo states with arrogance.

Peridot is still glaring daggers at Ronaldo. "Did you just insult me?"

"No, no, no!" Ronaldo says apologetically breaking composure. "I simply meant that you're intelligent. Which makes sense. I mean, only a highly intelligent race would ever see Earth as a threat and come to destroy it."

Peridot groans in frustration and pulls at her already messy hair and begins storming around. "Why do people keep saying that!" Peridot yells. "I was doing my job! I came to check on the Cluster! It was going to destroy the Earth! Not me! Then I assisted in its destruction! But do I get a thank you!? Do I get praise!? NO! Its always: _'You tried to destroy the Earth!'_ Or _'You want to reactivate the Kindergarten!'_ Or _'You forgot to cancel the 30 day free trial!'_ **I DO GOOD THINGS TOO!** "

Ronaldo laughs an insane laugh. Peridot stops her tantrum and looks terrified at Ronaldo. His phone goes off, playing the theme to The Walking Dead.

"I get it! You're pretending to be relatable! Causing me to drop my guard! Well that's not gonna work!" Ronaldo says hysterically. Peridot shudders. "I know why you're really here! How the Rock People want to hollow out our Earth and take the resources for themselves!"

Whoever called either hung up or the phone went to voicemail. Ronaldo picks up a baseball bat and approaches Peridot.

"How you plan to over throw our world leaders and replace them with puppet governments! The world is blind! But not me! I see you for what you really are!" Ronaldo lifts the baseball bat over his head. "Only I can stop you!"

As Ronaldo swings down with the bat, Peridot rolls to the left. Ronaldo breaks through an end table. There's nowhere to run and Ronaldo smiles as he slowly approaches Peridot. Peridot lets out a scream and instinctively kicks her leg up. It connects with Ronaldo right in between the legs. Ronaldo's eyes widen and tears begin to roll out. He drops the bat as he grabs onto his groin and falls sideways onto the floor in a heap.

Peridot doesn't have time to celebrate her victory before a pink bubble crashes through the side of the lighthouse, sending debris everywhere. The bubble dissipates as the dust settles. Standing there is a very angry Lapis Lazuli holding an equally angry but also terrified Steven.

Before Lapis can do anything to the incapacitated Ronaldo, Peridot running hugs her. Lapis's anger fades when she sees the bruised but safe Peridot around her waist. She hugs Peridot back and smiles.

Steven looks down at Ronaldo with pity. He looks like he's about to say something, but he gets pulled into the hug before he can.

As Steven, Lapis, and Peridot are enjoying their group hug, Ronaldo lets out an incredibly high pitched whimper. Water extends from Lapis's gem and picks up a piece of a plank and chucks it. It hit Ronaldo's head with a thunk.

"What was that?" Steven asks.

"Oh, nothing." Lapis says with a smile.

* * *

((Yeah... Ronaldo deserves that. Kidnapping, attempted murder, improper use of potatoes. The man is clearly a danger to himself and those around him. Peridot did what was right... And what many of us have probably wanted to do ourselves.

Writing this brought up a very interesting point... Can gems lose consciousness? They don't exactly have the same bodily functions and weaknesses we do. So it could be assumed that they can't be concussed, don't have pressure points, and can't lose consciousness... Then I decided that I was probably thinking way too deep into it and decided to just run with the black out angle. I can always think about the effects of blunt force trauma on a gem body later. There's Ronaldos that needed to be kicked.

As for an update on story progression. I have one major chapter left that I plan to do after this. I'm going to get that done sometime before May 8, 2016. Then I'm going to keep the survey I posted last chapter up until May 9th, 2016 Midnight Eastern time. After that I'll tally the results up and write the final "epilogue" chapter that includes the results of the election. That'll be done the 10th and then we can all enjoy In Too Deep on the 11th! Woo!

After that, I have other projects, most work related, others I've been pushing off. I'm going to work on those before I start up another work of fiction... Which I certainly plan to. Not sure what genre yet, but an idea will come eventually. If not... Well... LOOK! A DEMON DUCK! *hides*))


	16. Casting The Ballots

The closing statements of last night's debate marked the end of the campaign trail. Today is election day in Beach City! With a city this size, the election process should be easy, but no. The machines are outdated. The workers have a tedious check in system. Voters spend hours in line waiting for the machines to be fixed only to groan in frustration when they realize that they're going to miss an entire day of work. The typical election process. But with all this hustle and bustle, what are the candidates up to?

At the Dewey residence, Mayor Dewey is in the kitchen wearing his pajamas. He's cooking breakfast... and lunch... and everything edible really. The pantries are empty, and the counters are loaded. While Mayor Dewey is mixing away at cake batter, Buck is in the kitchen keeping him company. Buck's friend Sour Cream is in the dining room stuffing his face.

"Dad. I know you're nervous, but-" Buck says before Dewey frantically interrupts him.

"Nervous!? Me!?" Dewey rapidly states with nervous jitters. "I'm not nervous! Why would you think I'm nervous!?"

"You're making your third cake." Buck states as he points at one and a half cakes on the counter. "At this rate, we'll drown in food."

"Drowning in food..." Sour Cream says from the dining room. "That's a way to go!"

Dewey pours the cake mix into a pan and sighs.

"I guess I am nervous." Dewey admits as he puts takes cookies out of the oven and puts the cake mix in. "Its been so long since I had an opponent, and I've never been in a campaign this... Exciting..."

Buck smiles. "Look, Dad." Buck says. "Win or lose, you gave it your best. I'm proud of you."

Dewey sniffles, and he starts to tear up. He gives his son the biggest most awkward dad hug he can give.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Temple... Steven, Pearl, Peridot, and Lapis are all sitting in a circle on the floor folding laundry. Every time Peridot _'folds'_ a shirt, Pearl picks the ball up off the floor and refolds it. She sees that Peridot's trying, so she doesn't make a scene out of it. However, on the other side of Pearl is Lapis Lazuli. Lapis intentionally rolls the shirts into balls and drops them near Pearl. Pearl groans in frustration and refolds those shirts as well. This makes Lapis laugh.

"Lapis. Are you nervous about the election?" Steven asks.

"Yes." Says Lapis. "But after the past couple weeks, this tension is nothing."

"Nicely stated." Pearl says with a smile as she refolds the shirt that Peridot screwed up.

Lapis folds her current shirt into a hat and sets it on Pearl's head.

Pearl groans. "Would you please fold the shirts properly!" Pearl says with frustration.

"And who will make me?" Lapis asks in a cocky tone, egging Pearl on.

"Yeah!" Steven adds on as he takes his shirt he was folding and tosses it into the air.

Pearl groans. "Well at least you're still trying." Pearl says as she glances at Peridot.

Peridot is now wearing one of Steven's shirts and has a second one folded like a hat on her head. "What?" Peridot responds.

"Why do I even bother?" Pearl asks herself in frustration.

"Why don't we all just take a break?" Steven asks as he throws a shirt into the air, and it lands on Pearl's head.

Before Pearl knows whats going on, shirts are being thrown around everywhere and soon bigger objects like pillows and couch cushions. When its all said and done, Pearl and Peridot are buried in a pile of shirts and pillows with Lapis and Steven sitting on top of the pile laughing.

* * *

Where's Garnet and Amethyst in all this? They're in line, waiting to vote. They get there in the morning. The first hour goes by pretty smoothly. People get in, cast their ballots, and get out. Its almost like they'll be done quickly. Then the machines start to malfunction. Lines slowly start closing one after another. Soon, every machine is down.

"Oh come on!" Amethyst yells angrily.

Garnet stands calm.

After an hour of waiting, a mechanic arrives. After a half hour of tinkering around, he gets one of the machines fixed and the line can slowly start moving again.

"Took you long enough!" Amethyst yells.

Garnet remains quiet.

Another 15 minutes go by before the machine breaks again.

"What the heck!" Amethyst yells about ready to rage.

Garnet clenches a fist.

After a half hour of failing to fix any of the machines, they switch to paper ballots. Garnet casts her vote. On her way out of the voting box, Amethyst calls out to her.

"Hey Garnet!" Amethyst yells out. "Don't forget Ruby and Sapphire still have to vote!"

Amethyst laughs as she points back to the line... Its now out the door.

Garnet yells in frustration.

* * *

((The survey I posted a couple chapters back is still up. As I stated, I plan to keep it up until the day before In Too Deep. Then I will make the epilogue chapter revealing the results of the election and what happens. Meanwhile in this chapter...

I was watching food network... Well a weird local version of Food Network. And this guy who honestly looked like the living incarnate of Mayor Dewey was being interviewed. He was the head chef at an oriental buffet. that got me thinking that Buck needed to get his interest in art somewhere... So why not make Dewey somebody who like to cook? Make fancy things? Also I wrote this while hungry.

Also poor Garnet. I went through a similar process the first time I voted for an election. All the way down to being stuck in line with my brother making comments like Amethyst.

Tune in May 10, 2016 for the final chapter of the Gemchurian Candidate!))


	17. Declaring The Winner

The next day... Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven are standing in a crowd on the boardwalk. They're awaiting the new mayor's speech.

"I still can't believe that she actually won!" Amethyst says in amazement.

"I'm more surprised that Garnet received 11 percent of the popular vote." Pearl says. She then turns her attention to Garnet. "You weren't even running!"

"... I'm just that awesome." Garnet replies.

"Awwww. You upset that your pick didn't even hit the top 3, Pirogi?" Amethyst taunts Pearl.

"I'm not upset!" Pearl says defensively. "I just can't believe that humans take the selection of their leaders so lightly."

The results announced last night surprised everyone. Not only was Lapis Lazuli the clear winner with 67 percent of the votes, Garnet had come in second and third was a two-way tie between Onion and a jar of Almonds. Ex-Mayor Dewey was a dead fouth in a two person race. That had to have hurt.

"Well." Steven says. "Lapis won. Peridot and Lapis got to learn alot about the Earth, and they're closer now!"

"Yeah they are." Garnet says with a grin.

"I guess you could call this an overall success." Pearl says with a smile.

"For everyone but Ronaldo..." Steven says sort of sadly.

"What're ya talkin' about, Steven? He's finally being taken seriously like he wanted." Amethyst explains with a goofy grin. "He's being tried as an adult!"

Before Steven can respond, the crowd becomes silent, and Ex-Mayor Dewey and Mayor Lazuli take the stage.

* * *

"Everyone!" Ex-Mayor Dewey says into the microphone. "It's been an honor serving this fine city over the years, but as former mayor, I have one last task to do... Everyone, I am pleased to introduce you all to your new mayor, Mayor Lazuli!"

The audience bursts into applause as Dewey steps to the side and Lapis approaches the podium. The two shake hands with a smile, and Lapis takes her spot at the podium.

"Hello Beach City!" Lapis says with enthusiasm. "Like my campaign manager, I'll keep this speech short."

The crowd laughs, but Steven can still hear Peridot's groan of frustration from backstage.

"I'd like to thank Steven for being the best beach summer fun buddy every. My campaign manager, Peridot, for being incredibly... sometimes terrifyingly... dedicated to my election. To the Crystal Gems for not crushing me into powder when I stole the ocean. And to Mr. Dewey for agreeing to be in my mayorial cabinet. But most importantly, I want to thank you all for electing me as your mayor... And I promise that I will make Beach City a better place! Thank you!"

Lapis steps away from the podium and heads backstage with Dewey as the audience cheers.

* * *

"Well, I'm glad that's over with." Lapis says with a sigh.

"Just wait." Dewey says. "Now the real work begins."

"Already!?" Lapis asks in astonishment.

"Correct." Peridot says as she reads from a tablet screen. "Dewey still has a few weeks in office, but I've taken it upon myself to acquire all of the city's rules and regulations and compile it into a single data device for your review. Feel free to thank me later."

Lapis groans. "I'll get right on that... Tomorrow." Lapis says. "I have other plans today."

"And what are those?" Peridot asks straight face.

Lapis smiles.

* * *

Later in the afternoon... Connie, Steven, Lapis, and Peridot are in a pool of lime green jell-o.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this..." Peridot groans.

"Come on, Peri." Lapis says with a grin. "Doesn't it feel nice?"

"You're forgetting one important detail, Lazuli." Peridot adds. "WE'RE STUCK!"

"I guess you could say that we're in a jam?" Connie says with a grin.

"JAM BUDS!" Steven yells.

Connie, Steven, and Lapis all laugh. Peridot ever so slightly smiles.

* * *

((Final poll result: 6 Lapis. 1 A Jar of Almonds. 2 Write ins (1 for Onion and 1 for Garnet)... Man them results! Lapis killed it!

Lots of line splits!))


	18. Epilogue

Long after the election is over and done with...

Ex-Mayor Dewey went on to be on Mayor Lazuli's cabinet as a political adviser. Once he felt that Lapis had the hang of her job, he retired and became a consultant. To keep himself entertained in his position-less years, he opened a small bakery that eventually caught on. He still looks back on his days as mayor as the best of his life, but in his final race he made life long friends and wouldn't change the outcome one bit.

* * *

Not much changed for Pearl. Beach City kept functioning, and the Crystal Gems kept doing their thing. However, the new mayor was far more willing to listen to and cooperate with Pearl on her plans for Beach City's safety. At Pearl's request, stricter safety regulations were placed on Funland's amusement park and a mass evacuation plan was implemented... Which came in incredibly useful when Homeworld eventually invaded again.

* * *

In order to keep the eye of the public in their favor, Peridot decided that it would be best for their political party to have involvement in the community... So at the request of the twins Alexis and Amanda, Peridot had become their Girl Scout Troop's den mother. The troop quickly rose to the top ranks of national cookie sales as well as gaining a repuation of being a troop of hellions. Peridot was proud. Also, as Mayor Lazuli's reign continued, Peridot was given more and more responsibilities in urban development. With her at the helm, Beach City was the pioneering force of reverse engineering gem technology for practical Earth purposes such as renewable energy and defense... Boy were the diamonds surprised.

* * *

Mayor Lapis Lazuli used her mayorial benefits to acquire the lighthouse shortly after winning her first election. She and Peridot moved in there from the barn to be closer to Steven and the other Crystal Gems. She still had her various Crystal Gem activities, and at times the mayorial duties stacking on top of them were just too much... Luckily for her, she had Ex-Mayor Dewey and Peridot to fall back on for support. Lapis had decided from the get-go that she would only stay mayor for as long as she felt that she could keep improving Beach City for the better. When a new, bright-eyed candidate would step up, she would willingly retire. She was mayor during their technological boom, their peak of economic growth, the Homeworld Invasion, and the rebuilding after the city's destruction in said invasion. It wasn't until Mayor Dewey's Grandson was old enough to run that she had a worthy opponent and felt that she could retire from the political scene.

Years later, when approached for a documentary about her run as mayor, Lapis had this to say: "The worst part about being mayor was that I couldn't interrupt myself with a fart joke."

* * *

((Its been one heck of a ride guys! We saw Lapis rise to power, moments of awkward, moments of humor, moments of awkward humor. Got invited to a Steam Group, that was awesome... May or may not be related to this fic or not. No idea... It's been a rush. I wanna take the time right now to thank everyone for reading, and I hope that you all enjoyed my work of humor and political... uhm... Intrigue?... Not quite sure if intrigue is the word for it... But lets run with it! INTRIGUE! Word of the day cheated in! Woo woo!

But yeah. Thank you all so much, and I plan to write again in the future at some point! Until that point though, this is Space Clod signing out. *poofs*))


End file.
